


The Book of NicoTori

by Caribous (Carib0u)



Series: Fushidara na Jo Nico [1]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 17:29:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20746037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carib0u/pseuds/Caribous
Summary: In which Nico and Maki are breaking up, Nico is devastated, and Kotori has an idea.





	1. NicoMaki 0: NicoMaki Dream is Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Nico and Maki are breaking up, Nico is devastated, and Kotori has an idea.

> Umi:
> 
> Thank you for asking me to give my side of this situation. It felt as if I was being cast as a villain, when in reality all of this should have been my business, and Nico-chan's. If this is somehow being preserved to evaluate this crazy, unpleasant period, then I will include what I have written in my own journal, though I will express it more formally.

I am Nishikino Maki, 15, first-year student at Otonokizaka Academy.

The background is that both my senior, Yazawa Nico, and I got in over our heads in our first love affair, and when I came up for air, Nico-chan refused to do so. When I said Nico and I should take a break from each other, she was devastated, but her obsessive feelings were the main reason I wanted to have some space. Although I am only 15 years old, I am already under a lot of pressure - to have perfect grades, to excel as a composer, and now, to do all the other things an idol does, even though they're all strange to my experience and contrary to my inclinations. On top of that, to be the lover of an older girl who wants me to make up for years of loneliness and pain was too much for me, and there is some shame in admitting that, but not a lot.

> I wonder what keeping a record of this project to supposedly heal Nico through dating her can accomplish? Who, besides us nine, could possibly ever read it? Her family? The public? Perhaps it will serve as a reminder to Nico, but that's assuming that it doesn't further stress her, now and later. I would have thought she needed time to herself to reflect on her feelings and to become more independent again.

I am sorry Nico is so vulnerable, and I fear the worst. But I don't know the details of the so-called plan to help Nico, and that's fine. The facts are that Nico and I are no longer together, and that several of the members of our idol group plan to be her temporary girlfriend in the next couple of months. In order to de-mystify their first time, apparently several girls have said they would even sleep together, which I find hard to believe. That Umi, in particular, would ever be part of something like that is simply impossible.

I still have tender feelings and good wishes for Nico-chan, but I accept that I can no longer tell her what to do, or tell other people how to help her.

* * *

_Nico had never missed a practice with her own idol group. She had never missed a day she could possibly hand out fliers. She never missed a mu's practice, either. Actually, for purposes of performing she was still okay. And in practices she was gentle and docile, if very quiet. None of Nico's pride or stubbornness seemed to be left. In fact, she seemed grateful to have people tell her what to do. She was still very tender and caring to her family, but her siblings were frightened at how often their sister would simply start crying silently now. It was pretty clear that her defiant spark was gone. She reminded the others of Hanayo and Kotori without the flares of enthusiasm or mischief. Maki got tired of being stared at, and started leaving the second a practice was over. She didn't talk to Hanayo and Rin very much. They felt like they were being pushed to take sides, but the mu's girls told Maki once when Nico wasn't around that they didn't blame her, they were just upset._


	2. NicoTori 1: The Idea and Nico

A lot of this was my inspiration, worked out with Honoka and Umi-chan, like everything else. Yes, Umi-chan, too. I need to explain that, I imagine.

I am Minami Kotori, 16, 2nd year at Otonokizaka Academy, where my mother is the principal.

Our one-time detractor and current idol group member and friend Yazawa Nico was dumped by her girlfriend, a first-year named Nishikino Maki. I say this as someone who was famous and praised in Akihabara as a cute and beautiful maid - my identity there was "Minalinsky." I would say Nico-chan is cuter than me, and Maki-chan is considerably more beautiful. They were a pretty pair and a romantic inspiration to all of us.

When they started coming to school together blushing and tongue-tied, some of us realized they had reached the stairway to adulthood together. Our student council president and vice-president, Ayase Eli and Tojou Nozomi, seniors also in our idol group, realized it immediately, and so did I. My fellow second-year Sonoda Umi didn't want to accept what her suspicions told her, she wasn't entirely surprised about Nico being shameless, but was shocked at Maki-chan already having experience with sex.

It took much longer for the rest to get it, including our naive friend Kousaka Honoka, and the other young members of our idol group, Koizumi Hanayo and Hoshizora Rin. Hanayo often understands things she won't talk about, and waits for Rin to bring them up. Perhaps this situation was like that.

At any rate, to say Nico was hurt by their break-up would be too weak. She was actually more kind and gentle than we'd seen her before, but so sad, it broke your heart to see her. Nico had had many blows in her life, but it appeared this one was the final blow. Whenever we were brainstorming ideas, Nico wouldn't speak, and when asked, would apologize tearfully, and wait for us to tell her what to do.

One afternoon after school, Nico and I were making costumes. She is, honestly, a little faster at cutting and sewing than I am, so it was going very well. I had been pondering things in my head for a while, and I am known for wild ideas.

"Nico-chan," I said. She looked up at me, cautiously.

"Nico-chan, I think it would help your confidence if you dated someone that's not Maki-chan."

She looked at me in horror. Of all the things to bring up; of all the things to say. That's what she said with her eyes.

"I am not saying find a new love, Nico-chan. I am saying, just date. For a short time, even. To get you back on your feet. It could even be just a week, as long as we spent it together."

Nico looked puzzled, and pointed to herself and to me.

"Yes, Nico, I think it'd be good for you, and would teach me something about dating. Both of us would say up front we aren't seeking a new long-term girlfriend, but we could take it as seriously as we can in a short time."

"Kotori, that's really crazy, and wouldn't make me feel better. Thank you for the idea, I guess," Nico finally said.

"Do you really think it would hurt you worse than you're hurt now?" I wondered out loud.

"Yes, because now I am numb but that would tear open my wounds."

"I think you should try it. Be my girlfriend for a week. Everything's on the table."

Nico was puzzled as to what I meant by trying it, if we were going to declare in advance we weren't seeking a relationship.

"If it worked out, and if I could convince someone else, you could try again with them."

"Why would it make me feel better being dumped by more girls, Kotori?"

"You wouldn't be dumped. There would be no one being dumped. Just a mutual agreement. Nico-chan, Maki said you scared her and smothered her with your seriousness. You couldn't be too serious with this, because it would be planned to end."

Nico looked like she'd been slapped, but I was committed.

"That's why I say try it. Not 'try us out as girlfriends' but 'try dating without getting engaged.'"

Nico didn't look happier, but she looked defeated.

"Anything is better than the gray box I am in now, Kotori. The fact that you would offer this is good enough."

"This weekend," I said. "Let's start tomorrow - girlfriend."

"And I suppose Honoka and Umi won't object?"

"I'll talk to them tonight. But even if they object, I will still do it."

As I mentioned above, I had told Honoka and Umi I wanted to help Nico while we were at Honoka's house, so all I was going to talk with them about was that I was seriously going ahead with what I'd planned. As for how Umi would contribute to such a thing? She had really been stunned by how badly Nico was doing. "i've never seen someone so sad," she'd said. The three of us had matured to the point where we were questioning what our relationships with each other would be. Seeing how low a broken heart at love could bring someone was scaring her. I said helping Nico in this unusual way would also be an education for me. It might help me clarify my feelings, as well. Honoka agreed, which I took as evidence she'd been wondering and worrying about our future, too. And even Umi said as long as it was done with great care and respect, it might help. That was the most un-Umi-like thing I'd ever heard.

"Kotori is good at going her own way," Nico said. "I suppose they will be grateful you at least don't keep them in the dark."

"That's no way to talk to your girlfriend, Nico. I will call you tomorrow pretty early, before 11, and we'll go out. Give it a chance."

Nico nodded her head and gave me one of her half-hearted smiles. That was about all she could manage now.

"Oh, and ask your mother if it's alright if you stay over," I said. I had decided on something surprising I'd only discussed with Honoka


	3. NicoTori 2: First Date and Nico

When Nico saw Kotori arrive at the station, she was still surprised at herself for coming. But that thought flew out of her head.

"NICO!" Kotori shouted. She ran over to Nico and hugged her tightly - and kissed her. Briefly, but on the mouth. As if nothing had happened, she said "I hope you didn't wait long, Nico-tan."

The proud Nico would have flipped out. The broken one gave a sad smile and said "No, i just got here." That's what one said, after all.

"I hope you don't mind an early lunch," Kotori said. "It will be my treat." And with that, she grabbed Nico's hand and turned toward the trains again. She and Nico scanned their passes, and Kotori dragged Nico over to a seat at the back of an empty car. She promptly kissed Nico again then asked her how she'd been since she saw her the day before

Nico told her. At least she hadn't cried in front of her siblings the previous night. Kotori smiled at that and labeled it "progress." Still holding Nico's hand she stood up: "We're here, Nico."

It was a nice, but not extremely expensive cafe. Kotori ordered for both of them: small portions of excellent food and a not-too-sweet dessert. She told Nico she knew that she had a sweet tooth, but that appreciating a dessert for its other flavors was important too.

Nico couldn't help but notice that Kotori was dressed very nicely while still being casual. That's how Nico had dressed, too. Kotori had told her to dress like she did when she was first dating Maki. With her confident manner, Nico could see how Umi had gotten such a huge crush on her.

Nico got her courage up. "Kotori ... -chan... How exactly did Umi react to your plan?"

Kotori laughed, a little nervously.

"Well, you know, Nico, it was only after we started being school idols that Honoka brought up the idea of girls dating. She said she was feeling all fuwa-fuwa watching ARISE. She told us that she thought you and Hanayo were, too. She said she felt that way watching Umi, sometimes, too. I didn't like it that she only said that about Umi, and then I wondered why it bothered me. Then when you all found out I was "Minalinsky," she told me and Umi that I was dazzling, like Tsubasa. I actually thought she'd just be a fan of Tsubasa and Umi and I might date. When we were in middle school, Honoka and I practiced kissing, and we pushed Umi into practicing too."

So now Honoka said when we did that, she felt something, it was stimulating. So I said, "me too!" Nico-chan. Umi looked embarrassed but she'd be more embarrassed maintaining a lie, so she said she was, too. Even though she trembled as she admitted it. So we realized one reason we're such close friends is that we all get excited over other girls and won't judge. Except Umi doesn't want shameless behavior, however she defines it. But part of our friendship is Honoka goes ahead and does things, and I beg Umi to go along."

Well, everyone knows that much, Nico's raised eyebrow said.

"So, we have a problem, Nico. I mean, Umi will go along with a lot but - more than kissing? No, she can't do that. Honoka and I would, but that would leave Umi behind, and leaving Umi-chan behind is something we've pledged not to do. Or Honoka could just openly date Tsubasa, but she has the same problem as Umi-chan, Nico. Namely, you."

Nico looked up, hurt.

"I said you scared Umi-chan, but you scared Honoka, too, Nico. Neither one of them wants to be where you are. Honoka's really terrified, because she already practically worships Tsubasa. And she feels inferior, you know. She tells herself all the time she's an impostor and Umi and I did everything. If she screwed up a relationship with one of us, she'd lose her key supports in life, and like that. So, whatever happens, it's super-important that you and I stay close friends, Nico-chan. A lot depends on that."

Nico picked away at her dessert. It was very good, but the conversation was making her uncomfortable.

"So, why this?" she asked. "Why even get me involved, I mean?"

"Nico, ask yourself: is this better than crying in your room every night? Staring into space and punishing yourself with sad thoughts?"

"Yes, of course it is."

"So, even though Nico-chan is just going through the motions, it feels better, right?"

Nico had to admit that.

"Nico it made me sad you're so broken-hearted, but also a little relieved. Because now I can say things to you like, when your hair is not in twin tails like on stage, you're far cuter. In fact, you look like you could be Umi-chan's little sister, or maybe Nozomi's. And I think Umi-chan is very attractive. If Nico-chan's first idol group had worked out - if Nico had kept her grades up - if Nico had stayed in shape - if Nico had stayed confident like she was in that video of your performance with that trio - Nico-chan might be getting confessions like Umi-chan and Eli get. The way you are now you are very moe, and that is cute in its own way. But we were afraid to say things like that, because Nico wasn't able to be honest."

Nico started to cry, and Kotori took her hand and held it and didn't say anything more.


	4. NicoTori 3: Fushidara na jo Nico

_A train is bound for glory, so I run after it_  
_No time to find my shoes, it's pulling out, so in just my bare feet I jump on_

Nico found herself seated on a stool, singing, in the kind of strapless dress that a night-club singer wears. Complete with a padded bra - Kotori had insisted. Nico's hair was in a loose pony tail, swept behind one ear, and she had a small rose tucked into the band.

_When the sun sets tonight in my town_  
_the empty people will gang up and beat up on_  
_Anyone even weaker than they are, like always_

They were at the karaoke place where "Minalinsky" had practiced singing. It was a cosplay karaoke bar. Kotori had somehow gotten a fake ID and had put her hair up temporarily to make Nico look older than she normally did. Kotori had flashed her ID and told the night manager — a very fun-loving and irresponsible young woman — that Nico was older than her, which was true. She said they wanted a small amount of drinks to loosen Nico up, but not too much, as she was a debuting singer who needed to keep her vocal cords from tightening up. Kotori had proceeded to pick all the music for the night. Nico was grateful for that.

_As their cries echo, that just makes my blues pick up speed_

Something was picking up speed, anyway. To add to the unfamiliarity, Kotori had gotten a digicam, with, she assured Nico, very good sound. Apparently it was a common request at the karaoke bar. She pointed it at Nico. fiddled with various adjustments for a while, and let it run. She told Nico she should ignore it completely. Easy to say.

_I want a kind of freedom you can't see_  
_I make a gun with my finger and I fire it all around_  
_Just one true voice, one time_  
_That's all I ask_

Nico had to admit she identified with the song, by an early Nineties band from Shibuya called "The Blue Hearts." She felt like her muted, wistful performance wasn't doing it justice, but Kotori adjusted her vocals and pronounced it "perfect, Nico-tan! Just keep singing like that."

_This place isn't heaven, but it's not hell either_  
_I'm not a good person, but I'm not a bad one either_

It wasn't exactly a good times sing-along.

_There's a romantic starry sky out tonight_  
_I want to hold you_  
_While the south wind blows around us_  
_I want to dream wild dreams_

Three guesses whose face she saw then. Then again, what **didn't** make her think of Maki these days?

Earlier that day, at the cafe, the waitress had come while Kotori was holding Nico's hand. It was obvious Nico had tears in her eyes. Kotori had told the waitress they'd come there to cheer Nico up after a breakup — as straightforwardly as that. Nico was too sad to care about how embarrassing that was, and the waitress was sympathetic. "Good for you!" she'd said to Kotori. "I'm surprised someone could stand to break up with a cute little thing like your friend, but I'm glad she has someone to cheer her up."

_And the train, the train will keep on going_  
_The train, the train wherever it's going_

They had talked quietly after the food was brought. Kotori said, "Nico, if we are going to make the most of this week, I can't hesitate. I have to be brave and not afraid to talk about things, to ask about things, to tell you things. You have to be brave, too." She added that she was glad she was able to sincerely compliment Nico, instead of tiptoeing around her fragile ego. Which the old Nico had practically forced on them. "Nico, you really are attractive, if you only are willing to believe it."

True to her pledge to be brave, she'd elaborated on Honoka and Umi, and their discussion. It turned out that while Kotori was dating Nico, Honoka and Umi would likewise be dating each other all week. "So you see, Nico," she'd explained, "why this works out for us. They wouldn't be able to get closer if they were worrying about what I was doing, or what I was thinking about them."

It was only one song, but after Nico was done singing, she felt drained.

"Don't mind," said Kotori. She had apparently anticipated that a little. Her song came up. Suddenly, Kotori burst out singing, looking right at Nico. In English!

_I just want to be with you tonight._  
_I know that you want to be in my bed._

Nico wasn't perfect at English - not as good as Eli, Maki or Umi, who were good in all subjects, or Kotori, who'd been planning to study abroad for a long time, and had mastered a great deal of English as well as considerable French. But this wasn't exactly difficult to parse. Kotori **winked**. At some point she'd thrown on a lab coat over her clothes and topped it off with a nurse's hat. True to the spirit of the place, as befitted Minalinsky.

Surprisingly, the song continued in Japanese. Looking at the Karaoke monitor, she saw that it was Ringo Shiina's "Honnou."

_We are both lonely,_  
_No one blames us for licking our wounds correctly._

Kotori stuck out her tongue and pretended to lick the microphone.

_Nobody, nothing can be blamed_  
_When the threads come undone, I begin to have doubt about life._

Unconsciously, Nico drank down about half of her drink in one gulp.

Earlier at the cafe, Nico had been neither talking nor daydreaming, so she was able to concentrate on the subtler flavors of the not-very-sweet desserts there. It was somewhat of a new experience for Nico, who normally had the tastes of a child when eating out, and especially as it involved dessert. It was something Maki hadn't had the patience to teach her.

Almost against her will, Nico was realizing that the world still had things that were mildly interesting or pleasant left in it. But her sadness stubbornly refused to abate.

After some coffee and small talk, they had gone to a theater somewhat far from Otonokizaka. 'Bian teens had somehow gravitated to the matinee showing there, which had, in turn, become something of a 'gay matinee' on the weekends. Today it had the recent version of _Natural Woman_

**_"Yoko and Hanayo fell in love while working together as manga artists at their university newspaper. The intensity of their affair was such that for years after their breakup Yoko avoided forming any new relationship_s."**

and the live action adaptation of _Love My Life_. The former movie, essentially recapitulating Nico's own story of heartbreak on the screen, had been excruciating to bear. When they bought tickets, Kotori had chosen the couple's seats, which gave them privacy for Nico to spend much of the movie crying on Kotori's shoulder.

At least that had been an incentive to stay and watch the much cheerier _Love My Life_. As Nico cheered up, however, Kotori had taken that as a cue to start kissing Nico. True to her word, she took the girlfriends for a week thing completely seriously. The ups and downs of _Natural Woman_ followed by the warm fuzziness of _Love My Life_ had had an effect on Nico. She hadn't been able to say she didn't like it.

_Forgive me for my fickleness,_  
_Don't tell me it's too late, just move me!_  
_Come in even deeper,_  
_Set my true instincts in motion_!

Come to think of it, wasn't "Honnou" a girl/girl song? The way Kotori was pulling out the stops with all the 'bian stuff, Nico was surprised they hadn't ended up in Nichome! She kept looking at Nico in a flirty way as she sang, too.

_Under the moonlight, it makes me feel_  
_like saying I don't care about anything_  
_Inferiority complexes, categories_  
_Let's forget all that_

Now it was Nico's turn. Another thing Kotori was taking seriously was the karaoke. She had not only picked the music, but had printed out a lot of lyrics and gave them to Nico to read while Kotori was singing and while they took breaks. Then when Nico was up, she let her get a feel for the verse and chorus as practice, then started the song over. It wasn't a normal karaoke flow, but then again, it was just the two of them. They ordered more drinks, but Kotori made a point of saying in front of the staff that if it affected her singing, Nico couldn't finish hers. She was heavily role-playing the lovestruck manager and her talent she had to watch over. The staff had recognized her as Minalinsky, of course, so anything was possible.

_Had a dream last night that I was dead_  
_Had a dream last night that I was dead_  
_Evil spirits All around my bed_

The second drink had opened up Nico's feelings a bit, and the song felt appropriate, somehow. She was able to give it a little more energy than she had "Train, Train," though not a great deal.

_Mean blues spirits stuck their forks in me_  
_Mean blues spirits stuck their forks in me_  
_Made me moan and groan in misery_

She looked at the name on the song, "Blue Spirit Blues," and her face twitched:

**Maki**

She continued singing but threw a glare at Kotori. Was she doing everything on purpose?

Maki Asakawa didn't seem like a cheerful person. Well. What if someone came to Nico now and told **her** to be cheerful? Maybe she shouldn't be so hasty to judge.

_This is hell I cried, cried with all my might_  
_This is hell I cried, cried with all my might_  
_Oh, my soul, I can't bear the sight_

When she finished, she was drained, again. But Kotori seemed really pleased. With glee, she went right in to Utada Hikaru's "Ore no Kanojo."

_My girlfriend's pretty good-looking, and she's got social graces_  
_Even my friends all say she's a smart girl._

By this point, Nico had completely forgotten the digicam. But Kotori hadn't.

_I want the courage to want what I really want,_  
_I keep thinking lately when we're holding each other_

This was a much bigger step than becoming "The legendary maid Minalinsky" had been. But the feeling was somewhat similar. She understood Maki's objections. All too well. But Maki was wrong, and they, the rest of mu's, were right.

She could sense it. Kotori was the only one in mu's who had succeeded on her own terms, so far. Nico had failed with her own idol group. Eli had failed at ballet. It might be cruel to think that, but it was accurate. Winning a _Love Live!_ was one kind of goal, but building for the future was completely different. Romance aside, Nico was due for a crash course in all the things she needed to be good at if she was serious about "being an idol," which wasn't really meaningful if you looked at it too closely. Not all idols stuck with singing and dancing. Some mostly acted. Others expanded their singing careers without focusing on dance. Kotori had created a persona much more fleshed out than "Nico, Nico ni!" and sold it, all on her own.

And now, it was time for Nico to practice singing in English.

_Oh baby, I love you much_  
_Oh baby, it's not enough_

They had started over a few times, but Kotori felt like Nico was in the groove. The lyrics had a Japanese translation below them. Kotori had also let Nico hear the original singer perform it, to give her a taste of what blues singing in English was like. Nico had asked about the singer. "Well, she died a couple months before Touhoku, Nico," Kotori said, and when Nico asked how old she was, she said 27. How completely depressing! Then Nico asked about Maki Asakawa, and it turned out she had died a year before the British singer, Amy Winehouse. "But she was in her sixties, Nico." To be fair, that was pretty old. As old as Nico's grandmother, in fact. Still, blues singing was starting to sound like Death Note as far as Nico was concerned.

_We only said goodbye with words_  
_I died a hundred times_  
_You go back to her_  
_And I go back to black_

Looking at the lyrics in Japanese and reflecting on the performance she'd heard on Kotori's phone, Nico decided the British singer had definitely been there — that was just exactly how it felt. When she was done, the effort of singing in English made her feel exhausted completely.

But this time Kotori didn't let up. "You know," she said, looking at Nico sympathetically, "Sometimes you have to keep singing even when you don't want to, but you feel better afterwards." Nico looked at her, bewildered. Kotori produced another song in English, from an American named Amanda Palmer. Kotori called it a "cabaret song." It seemed rather angry, and Nico decided to humor Kotori. She took her anger and annoyance with her life out on the song, much to Kotori's delight. It was called "Good Day," which Nico thought was ironic. Kotori seemed pleased that it completely wiped Nico out.

Up for Kotori came another Utada song, "Tomodachi." It was rather blatant compared to her earlier choices. Actually, it was a duet, so Kotori started it over a few times till Nico caught up. She subtly turned them both so the digicam could get both of them in the lens. While Nico was finishing up the cabaret song, Kotori had changed into her Minalinsky outfit.

_Oh, because I want to touch you and I can't help it, oh_  
_Oh, I can't be your friend, can't be your friend, oh_  
_Because there's no point if I'm not your number one anymore_

Kotori made sure they were pressed close together during the whole song. Nico didn't think of the digicam, so it seemed a little much. But she was playing along, she'd decided, so she continued as she began.

_If I showed you what was in my heart-no, it's no use_  
_I'm very good at lying, but my heart is honest to a fault_

Kotori moved a little back and looked at Nico flirtatiously.

_I want to kiss you; I don't need hugs or anything like that_  
_Let me have one kiss, but of course.._.

Kotori finished by making it look like she was about to kiss Nico as the song ended.

Nico sat down with complete relief. A staffer came and asked if they needed a third round of drinks. Kotori said it was fine, that Nico had done the songs where her voice had to be in shape and deserved a reward for "being a good girl." Before this, Nico would have been annoyed that the staffer might think of her as the kind of performer who drinks too much, being monitored and babysat by her manager. As it was, she decided she could use it. Of course, that was how those performers started, but she didn't think about that.

Unbelievably, Kotori wanted Nico to do one more song. Her voice felt weak, she was exhausted, and she just wanted to go home and sleep. She told Nico this song, in fact, was the main song she wanted to have Nico sing on. "But we needed you to be just right for it, and now you should be." Whatever that meant. Half-dead? Sick of the whole thing? Nonetheless, Nico smiled at the fact that it was the last song.

Somehow this song, another blues song by Maki Asakawa, hit Nico with the impact of a punch in the stomach.

_From the rear window I can see the setting sun_  
_I can see the step-ladder where the washing is drying_

It was as if she'd been watching Nico, who had in fact often had to dry the washing on a step ladder outside their family's little apartment at Shouhei Bridge.

_From the rear window I can see a couple nestling together_  
_From the rear window I can see the river_  
_I can hear the sound of a dark barge_  
_From the rear window I sometimes see people parting_

And wasn't that Nico's life in a nutshell? Years of watching other people, happier, more fortunate, more popular, live their lives while she just watched?

_From the rear window I see myself three years ago When I was still young_

Niko stopped singing and looked at Kotori.

"Are you **trying** to break me, Kotori?" she asked. Nico started crying. She was tired and sad and bewildered.

"I have a really good reason for you to sing this song, Nico-chan," Kotori said, though she hugged Nico. "So please trust me this one last time?"

Nico felt a morbid curiosity about the possibility that Kotori would turn her persuasion skills, finely honed on Umi over the years, on Nico. Would that be good or bad? In any event, Kotori simply waited. They started over and Nico tried to do her best. She made her voice as firm and strong as she could. In places it cracked somewhat, and in others, it sounded surprisingly strong, even good, to Nico. The lyrics seemed to stay with her even after she finished, and burst into tears again.

Kotori comforted her again, they dressed in their own clothes and put their costumes in the collection bin. Kotori insisted on paying for the whole night, which they hadn't paid for in advance. This karaoke place gave Minalinsky a good discount, and she had mentioned them to tourists at the maid cafe a few times.

Nico's mother had said it was fine staying overnight at the Minami house. When they got there, it turned out Principal Minami was away visiting her sister. Kotori told Nico her father was usually away for business, even on weekends. So they had the place to themselves.

Kotori insisted they take a bath together. Nico agreed because that would get them to sleep faster, she thought. Of course, it was embarrassing to be in the tub together, especially since Kotori insisted they wash each other before they got in, "all over." Then when they were in the tub she cuddled up behind Nico. She rubbed Nico's shoulders, which made Nico want to fall asleep in the bath. After a while, when they got out, Kotori didn't put any clothing back on, but just wore a long t-shirt, and found one for Nico. It really was similar to how Nico and Maki had gone to bed after a bath at Maki's house a few times. The reality of what she was doing hit Nico rather hard. She felt like she was cheating on Maki, and giving up on her at the same time. A night spent cuddling with Kotori in bed, in just tee-shirts, that might be too girlfriend-y to handle.

Kotori suggested a late-night snack. Since they hadn't eaten since early afternoon, it sounded good to Nico. Amazingly, Kotori's house had an espresso maker. Nico didn't really want coffee that late at night, but Kotori said it would be sad if they fell asleep the minute they hit the bed, without any cuddling or pillow talk.

The snacks were surprisingly plain. Just ochazuke from packets and pudding. And cookies with the espresso in porcelain demitasses. They discussed the day. Nico laughed a little at how 'bian Kotori had made it. "What sort of reputation would Muse get if people saw us?" she said rhetorically. Kotori laughed and said from what she saw of fan comments, Muse had already gotten that dubious haircut*, and there was no way to un-cut it.

They talked a little about the food and the movies, but mostly about karaoke. Nico said she saw the pattern Kotori had picked. Nico cries her heart out about her misery with blues songs, and Kotori flirts with Nico with love songs.

"You got it, Nico!" Kotori said, bringing her hands together in front of her. "But more seriously, as I said about how you dress, and your hair, it's also true that Nico needs to try singing other things besides cute and high-pitched idol songs now that she's going to be graduating soon. I think Nico's natural voice is a little lower than mine, even though you make yourself sing higher. I thought you would sing blues songs well, and I was right."

She touched Nico on the arm and looked in her eyes. "You know, you looked like a real singer tonight. And you were very beautiful."

Kotori cleared up and washed the few dishes they'd used, then brought out little cups of plum wine for a night-cap. She toasted "our first day together," and they sipped it until it was gone. It was a very good-tasting, aged plum wine and Nico felt it affect her. She was still just a little affected by the alcohol at the karaoke place, too.

It was clearly time for bed, as Nico yawned and stretched sleepily. As she'd expected, they got into Kotori's bed, which had a blanket and sheets that smelled fresh out of the dryer. Probably for the best that she didn't smell Kotori's scent in the bed or the pillows. Kotori faced Nico and they sort of arranged themselves so they could cuddle but still talk. It wasn't long before Kotori kissed Nico again. This time she licked Nico's lips, and when Nico opened her mouth a little, she kissed her in a racy way. She stroked Nico's back and it became very sexy. Kotori gently moved one of Nico's hands to her breast as they went on kissing. Then she, even more gently, touched Nico's breast. Nico started to panic a little.

Was the unbelievable going to happen? Wasn't Kotori a virgin? Even with girls, Nico meant, thinking to herself. She tensed up a little. Kotori kept her hand where it was and simply slowed down the pace of kissing. She hugged Nico tightly and made reassuring noises. After a bit, she kissed Nico's chin and neck. She gently stroked Nico's breast.

"Kotori, you aren't serious?" Nico said, a little panicked.

"Nico-chan, I am," Kotori said, simply. She shrugged her shirt off and was completely naked. She again placed Nico's hand on her breast, gently, and went back to kissing her and caressing her breasts. Nico felt a sense of unreality. Her feelings of betraying Maki and her love for Maki returned. At the same time, she felt herself responding to Kotori. She hesitated. Was she really capable of doing — well — **that**?

At that point, Kotori brought out the big guns. Making the best puppy eyes Nico had ever seen in her life — and Nico had three little siblings she had to parent - Kotori leaned over Nico, staring into her eyes. She reached for Nico's shirt and started drawing it up.

"Nico-chan! Nico-chan ... Onegaiiiii?"

_From the rear window I see a couple who look happy_  
_But tonight the wind blows hard_  
_And the shutter closes with a bang_  
_Then flies open again with a bang_  
_And the ghosts have already disappeared_

***age-otori: **Look worse after a haircut. Kojien defines it: "Formally styling one’s hair for a coming-of-age ceremony, with the contrary effect of making oneself look worse than before." In this case, "that ship has sailed" because you can't un-cut hair. It's not current, only someone in a Literature club would even know about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Birb! How could you???!!!
> 
> "Fushidarana jo Nico," the title of this chapter as well as this work, translates pretty exactly as "Nico the Slut"
> 
> After all, she's now slept with 25% of the Muse girls. And she put out on the first date!
> 
> Surprise Songfic! (Karaoke Edition)
> 
> Train Train c. 1988 Hiroto Kōmoto and Blue Hearts
> 
> Honnou c. 2000 Ringo Shiina
> 
> Ore no Kanojo c. 2016 Utada Hikaru
> 
> Back to Black c. 2006 Amy Winehouse
> 
> Blue Spirit Blues c. 1929 Bessie Smith Japanese version c. 1971 Maki Asakawa  
Maki Asakawa version is a major rewrite: Among other things, she changed the repeated first lines in each stanza to rhymed couplets, and extended the imagery of the song.
> 
> Ura Mado c. 1973 Maki Asakawa
> 
> Tomodachi c. 2016 Utada Hikaru
> 
> Obviously a lot of wordplay here. It's age-otori because Nico can't un-screw Kotori. And for this week, at least, the KotoNico ship has sailed.
> 
> Notice that I am bringing out Kotori's yuri flirting. She, Nozomi and Tsubasa are the three that actually do it in the anime. Honoka and Rin's hugs are innocent, and Nico's hugs of Maki were more innocent than flirty. Also, I think after turning down the scholarship and a successful career with a stage name, Kotori is actually the most confident girl in Muse, and it shows here.


	5. NicoTori 4: Cure Maid and Nico

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico and Kotori have spent their first night as lovers - Kotori's first time. Now Kotori posts the video she shot of Nico the previous night as "Minalinsky," and it catches fire. We look in on Maki's thoughts at this stage of the "project."

Kotori had told the school Saturday that Nico couldn't come in for the half-day as she wasn't well. She also said she had to tend to Nico. If anyone had seen them out on their date, she would have forthrightly told them it was a "mental health day" and that a crying Nico wouldn't be very productive in school anyway. Nico was very glad it hadn't come to that. By now, word that Nico and Maki had been dating, had broken up, and that Nico had basically fallen apart over it, was circulating on the rumor vine. Since most of the girls at Otonokizaka were well-brought-up and with kind hearts, no one would probably have any incentive to rat them out.

But now it was Sunday morning, and Kotori still had big plans. Right now, before Nico, who was impossibly cute cuddled up next to her, woke up, Kotori took stock. Last night, everything had been in place for them to take the enormous step they had taken. Kotori was even a little sore, and there was a little blood on her sheets. I'm really not a virgin anymore, and Yazawa Nico was my first lover, she thought. Wow. She hugged her pillow. Am I different now? Yes, she decided. The next time she saw Honoka and Umi, she'd be a woman with knowledge and they'd still be girls. Even though it had hurt, Nico had been so gentle, loving, and determined to make Kotori feel good. She'd also cried a lot, but that was nothing new. In fact, Kotori had deliberately let Nico get into a blue mood in order to record her singing from the heart at karaoke.

As much as Kotori wanted to lay in bed and just think about everything -- she had already planned Sunday out, as well. By Monday, she wanted to go to practice with a Nico who was at least comfortable holding hands with her in public (although they would not do that at practice, as Maki might react badly). So, the first thing was breakfast, then a morning spent editing and uploading film to her Minalinsky account. It was all Kotori could do to keep from squealing and waking Nico. Her sempai had wildly exceeded her expectations, making it worthwhile if Kotori had been a little mean to her.

She decided to nudge Nico, after all. My first *nudge*, she thought. Somehow, this was the moment when her wild idea hit her in the gut. We - did it! I'm nudging the woman I had sex with for hours last night! It kept hitting her.

Nico, meanwhile, made cute little animal noises and even put her hands over her eyes and said "Mama, I don't wanna get up!" It was so adorable, Kotori was glad they'd put a week limit on their affair. Otherwise, she'd have been tempted to make more of it than Nico would want, or could even handle. Nico rubbed her eyes and looked around blearily. When she saw Kotori sitting up, topless, next to her, her eyes went wide, and she sat up, clutching the sheet to her tiny chest.

Kotori was not going to give Nico a chance to freak out this whole weekend. "Nico," she said, "I am going to make us a very light breakfast. I know you feel obligated to be the cook, but I am good at making some things, and you are going to lie down and wake up while I go do it. If you want, you can use the bathroom first. I'm just going to wash my hands quickly and throw on an apron. And with that, Kotori got up, stark naked, and turned towards Nico and said, "No molesting the cook when she's frying things, Nico-chan!" And with a wink, she dashed into the bathroom, washed her face and hands, and came out past the bedroom and headed for the kitchen, still naked. Apparently, an apron was all she was going to wear.

In this situation, Nico thought, Umi might really have a heart attack or something. She would faint multiple times, at the very least. The more she thought about that, the more she thought that this dating Nico seriously thing would end whenever Umi's name came up. Kotori had been shameless even by Nico's standards last night. Images and other sensations came back to Nico and she blushed.

"I want you to show me everything Maki-chan did, Nico, and everything you did to her. Tonight you are my sempai, and so is Maki-chan. After tonight, we'll teach each other, ne?" So Kotori had said to Nico. And she had insisted Nico make her not a virgin anymore, even if it would hurt. Eventually, after a lot of other things, Nico had done what she asked.

If Nico hadn't been a little drunk and a lot lonely and sad, she wouldn't have even considered doing *it* with someone she regarded as purely a friend. Even now, she almost couldn't believe she had done those shameful things with someone that wasn't Maki. She felt shallow, like a wading pond. But that was so unfair to Kotori, who was nothing but giving, that Nico decided she felt even more guilty thinking that way than feeling sad and guilty about being untrue to Maki. For all Nico knew, Maki might very well get a girlfriend while they were "taking a break" — and only because Maki had refused to say how long that would be for had Nico really despaired. An *indefinite* break to give Maki her space felt like giving Nico false hope that would only break her heart again. And when she talked it over with her friends, they had agreed.

When Nico left the bathroom and entered the kitchen, Kotori was finishing breakfast in just an apron. Since she was putting tsukemono in dishes, Nico decided the rule about not molesting the cook didn't apply. Of course, all she did was hug Kotori from behind and nuzzle her a little. "Are you all awake now, cutie?" Kotori asked? Nico blushed and carried some food to the table alongside Kotori.

Like the snacks last night, Kotori's breakfast had been simple, and portions moderate. Steamed rice, miso with tofu, a little grilled smelt and a small amount of tsukemono. "We're going to have brunch at a cafe, Nico-chan!" Kotori had promised. She had changed out of the apron into just a long t-shirt, and had left another one in the bathroom for Nico. If Nico had looked under the table she could have seen Kotori's region. She laughed. Kotori looked at her quizzically. "I was thinking about Umi," Nico said, grinning. "Don't underestimate Umi, Nico. She has more sides to her than anyone but me and Honoka know about," Kotori replied.

As she and Nico were done with their food, Kotori said, "Nico, I had you bring all your books and homework, and I have to do something now for a couple of hours. You need to catch up while I do it." Nico looked a little surprised. "Nico, part of this is us being able to work side by side at what we need to do without entertaining each other."

Kotori even closed her bedroom door, and Nico could hear her computer start up. Nico worked in the living room. On her, a long t-shirt was like a short dress, so she wasn't indecent. Still, working on her schoolwork in the living room of the principal's house, not wearing any underwear, did feel a little scandalous. Oh, and she'd taken the principal's daughter's first time, let's not forget that detail. Fortunately for Nico, µ's hadn't had to talk face-to-face with Principal Minami for a while, as Nico didn't think she could do it.

Niko concentrated on catching up. One of the things almost all her µ's friends had emphasized was the need for Nico to keep her grades up, above all else. In truth, while she had a reluctance to do anything much nowadays, once she got involved in her schoolwork it took her mind off of Maki. With that thought, she realized yet again that Kotori's Nico project was very thoughtful. It respected Nico's grief and kept her either too entertained or too busy to dwell in self-pity.

She heard music coming from Kotori's room. It stopped and started as if Kotori was editing it. It seemed familiar. Only after about an hour had gone by did an awareness of what it was seep into her awareness. Or rather, of who it was. It was Nico herself, singing karaoke last night. She hadn't realized it wasn't commercial music for quite a while. Why would Kotori be editing Nico's music? To put up somewhere? Nico didn't think the music matched her idol image at all, so she hoped not. She'd tell Kotori that. Umm, probably. She remembered Kotori putting on her cutest puppy dog eyes and saying "pretty please?" last night and wasn't sure she could resist a full on Kotori assault.

Well, whatever. She heard Kotori talking, and it sounded like she was calling herself "Minalinsky." Aha. Like Nico, apparently Kotori did video blogging, in her case as her famous maid character. That was probably a good sign, as Kotori had never outed her actual name as far as Nico knew. After another hour, Kotori came out. She was all smiles, and dressed in her maid cafe uniform.

"Nico, you should see and hear this," was all she said. Nico got up and followed her into her bedroom. She noticed Kotori had taken her sheets off and put them on the floor and that reminded her of Kotori's innocence. Impulsively, she hugged Kotori. "You're okay, Kotori-chan?" she whispered. Kotori looked down at the floor then looked at Nico seriously. "I am," she said. "Really, I could have done worse, and if it were Umi or Honoka, it would have complicated everything and unbalanced it. We discussed this, even Umi agreed with me and Honoka about this. I know that's hard to believe. Honestly, I think you're getting a glimpse into our world, the three of us, that µ's hasn't seen."

> "Hi, Minalinsky here, how are all of you, friends?" Nico heard. "Okay, I won't talk a lot today. I wanted to have you hear some songs from a friend of mine. She's very shy, so I will just call her Singer X, shall I? When I heard her singing, I thought, I want to share this on my video blog, so I am doing that today."

As she was speaking, music had been rising up. Now the video showed the singer. Nico almost didn't recognize herself. The karaoke place had had dim, sort of club lighting, and the way the video had been shot didn't make it obvious it was a karaoke place. What she saw was a young woman who looked older than Nico normally did, with a sad, wistful expression, singing a blues song. The audio quality was amazing. Whenever the singer's eye caught the camera, she looked away, true to Kotori's lead-in. However, you heard Kotori's voice asking a question and saw Nico look at the camera for a while. Her expression was troubled, but she had a kind of mature beauty Nico'd never seen in herself before. She didn't have to get upset with Kotori. Only people that knew her personally would recognize school idol Nico-nii.

By the time they got to the duet of Minalinsky and "Singer X," Nico was very moved. It felt like she was seeing herself through a haze, somehow. As if it weren't her at all. Her and Kotori harmonized very well. Both of them were at a range different from their singing with µ's, and it was very effective. Then, the final song came up. Nico could now understand why Kotori had badgered her so much, strained her, let her dwell on her sadness, and even get a little drunk. She would never have imagined this could come out of her.

By the time the song was over, Nico was in tears. Against her firm determination, she cried on Kotori's shoulder. She hated herself a little but she was beyond control. "I love her, Kotori," she cried. "I mean, I love her. I want to marry her, I want to raise children with her, I want to die with her. She has my heart, she's so big to me. And now I don't know what to do. How to do anything. How to live with it. I'm sad, Kotori! I'm so sad!" she drenched Kotori's shoulder with tears as Kotori patted her and made soothing noises. Meanwhile, "Minalinsky" was saying farewell, and saying "I will try to get my friend to let me show you more of her songs sometime in the future. Isn't it beautiful? She has no idea, so please share your love if you appreciate this."

"Sometimes to get something under control, you have to feel it first, Nico. There's no shame in admitting you're unhappy. The way you're feeling now, a lot of people who watch my video blog are going to feel. But you have to go through that to get to the other side. It's what blues songs are for."

Nico looked up tearfully. "Your viewers won't hate you? For being suddenly sad?" Kotori shook her head. "No, I think they'll be impressed. You can't have everything be cheerful, all the time, and people that think Minalinsky is beautiful or elegant are going to see the beauty in your singing, Nico. It's a kind of feeling bad that also feels good. It gets those feelings out of your system, I think. But you know what? I have no idea, really. I am going to find out the same time you do. Maybe I will lose viewers or maybe I will gain viewers. That's what makes this an adventure!"

Kotori really did look honestly excited. "Nico, our week is giving me chances to change myself, not just you. I remember when I went off to become a maid character. I wanted to change, and I did. This feels like that again. And on that note, Nico ..."

Kotori explained that Nico should dress up somewhat like she had at the karaoke place. Kotori had taken her dress that was the closest to what Nico had worn, and altered it before they went on the date. After Kotori did Nico's hair and makeup, she gave her a pair of stylish sunglasses and said, "Nico, more is less, and this will disguise you better than your attention-getting spy outfit ever did. In addition to hiding what you are, you have to give people something else for you to be to them, and it has to be understandable and normal so they don't have any urge to look deeper."

The place they were having brunch turned out to be the legendary Cure Maid in Akihabara, and Kotori had not only made reservations, but had come as Minalinsky Friday evening and asked if she could film herself and a singer friend there for her video blog. After she'd signed an agreement to not do anything that would harm Cure Maid's reputation, they had told her she was welcome to film. The famous maid cafe was traditionally cooperative with popular internet figures in the maid world.

Their reservation was for a nook out of the way of the other customers. A seasoned pro by this time, Kotori set up the camera on a pivot that she could control from her seat. While they waited for their food, she put her laptop on the table where the camera could see it behind her and started it up.

"Hello, all my friends and honored customers, this is Minalinsky at Cure Maid! And if that is not enough, I am going to spoil you even more. Earlier, I put up some songs by my friend, who I called Singer X. And she is with us now. Please wave to my viewers, Singer X!" and she pivoted the camera so you could see Nico. Nico looked embarrassed, but set herself and waved, bowing her head at the same time. It probably wasn't very cool.

"We are having brunch, so even though I am in my maid outfit, today we are honored customers. And Cure Maid has graciously let us do impolite things like filming here and putting my laptop on the dining table. We are going to look at this mornings video blog. We should just now be getting an idea of how many people saw it and how many liked it." She, and Nico after a prod to the elbow, turned to the laptop. The camera was panned and zoomed over so you could see part of the backs of Nico's and Kotori's heads and also the laptop screen. Kotori reminded herself that if this was a disaster, she didn't have to post it. And if Nico was devastated, she had worked out a plan with some of the other µ's to rescue Nico and console her. After all, Nico might have been right about her fans wanting only a "cheerful Minalinsky." She would still put up the footage of her and "Singer X" at Cure Maid because she was stubborn, but not of them watching the earlier video and its reception.

* * *

She need not have worried. Already, she was getting more views, and more favorites, and more reblogs, than she could remember getting ever before in such a short period of time. Most of the comments said "Singer X" needed to go for it and go beyond being a club singer and put out an album, and then do concerts. It probably helped that Minalinsky had posted to her address, to an area on NicoNico, and to YouTube at the same time, which she only did for special occasions. Just re-post three times, and it almost had the impact of a media campaign. Nico had no idea how Minalinsky's blog worked. She realized immediately it was many times the response Nico's own blog usually got.

"Is this good, uh ... Minalinsky-san?" she stammered. "It's very good, Miss X. It's the best I've ever done. Nico started to tear up, so she looked to see if their food was coming. It was. Kotori moved the laptop to the center of the table to make room for their food. Then she had herself and Nico turn around and pose with the maids bringing their food. The maids were thrilled at being on the video blog of "Legendary Maid Minalinsky" and wondered who the beautiful girl she was with was. Could it be a girlfriend? The little whiff of scandal only added to the excitement.

The follow-up blog at Cure Maid bloomed almost as well as the original song post, which was still expanding.

Nico and Kotori spent the rest of the day shopping and took in another movie. They went home afterwards, and Kotori had them take a bath together. After that, they retired to her bedroom after a light dinner — as Kotori put it, nothing would prevent them having more late night snacks tonight. Later.

"This time, Nico-chan, we should talk a little as we go. I already know why Maki-chan did some of the things she did. It turns out, pinning a helpless little Nico-chan down and doing things to her is very thrilling. Nico is my neko, and even my koneko this week. Also, Nico got used to being teased by Maki-chan and I think that would be a good thing for me to do as well."

"Does Nico-Neko get any say in this, Kotori-tachi?" Kotori grinned, but nodded. "Nico wants us to come at the same time. Otherwise, Nico is a little sad." Thank goodness, Kotori thought, that neither she nor Nico had said yesterday was a mistake, or "too embarrassing" or "too meaningless." Two nights in a row would be the charm. After this it was just getting in sync. When your relationship only had seven days to live, you had to treat every day as vital. Kotori's vanity was hurt by the thought that the woman who took her virginity would forget what making love with her was like. She wanted Nico to remember everything about her. How she looked with her skin flushed. The noises she made as she came. How her body felt. How she smelled. How she tasted. And she only had seven days to accomplish that. "Koneko's tachi-sama promises to lead us to orgasm hand in hand, Nico-tan."

Despite the fact that she'd no doubt betrayed several personal vows about never touching anyone but Maki, it was good to see Nico was still very romantic about lovemaking. It was important to Nico - all-important — that everything be as loving as possible. Really, she was such an insecure girlfriend. Kotori could already see the signs of what Maki was complaining about. But easing that insecurity was very rewarding. It was definitely a dilemma. But if you put up with it for only a week, it was mostly a fun dilemma to have.

With that thought in mind, Kotori set to work pleasing Nico - and herself. In fact, they fell asleep entangled in the sheets and each other, without having any midnight snacks.

* * *

_ **It turned out, Nico had nightmares. Mostly about her father. Sometimes about the rest of her family. Sometimes about school. Quite often, about her failed idol club. Sometimes she cried out and woke Maki, who wasn't used to having her sleep interrupted. It made her reconsider sleeping next to Nico. Then again, when Nico tearfully snuggled into Maki, it somehow made it very easy to go back to sleep. Maki tried to be fair.** _

* * *

** _When she heard Kotori had posted something that was getting a lot of buzz, Maki checked her Minalinsky blog. It was odd in the extreme that Kotori was still clinging to that. It was like Nico and her pigtails and catch-phrase, complete with childish mime. She could understad clinging to past moments of glory if you were Nico. God knows, she'd found out Nico had litte enough to cling to - so much so that she'd clung to Maki like a koala. Kotori seemed to be having fun, though. Maki had learned not to underestimate that. To a degree, from Nico. But also from Rin and Honoka. Sometimes in tandem with Nico. Whatever._ **

** _Of course, she realized immediately who "Singer X," the subject of all the hype was. She was -- impressed was a good word. It wasn't like anything she'd even seen Nico rehearsing before. Kotori probably had a future as a manager, in addition to all the other careers her many talents made possible. She winced when she saw how earnestly Nico sang blues songs drenched in pain. Was this what people who dated pop stars felt like when they heard them sing their songs about being "done wrong?" In fact, one of the songs was more on the angry side than the heartbreak side. The implication was that her ex wanted Nico to fail and die, but she was thriving to spite them. Maki didn't move or react after that, though she listened all the way to the end. It was a heart-rending finish, no doubt about it. Maki would have to make plans._ **


	6. NicoTori 5: Acting and Nico

"I have talked it over with Umi — don't worry, we agreed not to talk about the details of our weeks till both people are done with them. But this will spill over into her week so I had to clear it with her. I don't know who's after Umi, but it will still be going on in their week so she said she cleared it with them, too," Kotori told her.

Kotori and Nico had somehow managed to wake up early so they could talk over breakfast before going to school. Kotori wanted Nico to go to a different club for a surprise after practice today. Apparently something she wanted Nico to try doing for more than a week.

"So Umi is 'next'," Nico asked?

Kotori laughed. "Hah. Yes, she is. We planned this out. Do you object?"

Did she? No, not really. The absurd girlfriend-for-a-week thing with Kotori had actually put her in a more stable mood than she had been achieving on her own.

"Well, that should give me time to sort of ponder what you and I are doing, I think. Since we certainly won't be ... "

"Oh?" Kotori asked, amused. "Possibly, possibly. But like I said, don't make assumptions about Umi till you get to know her better."

Nico looked at Kotori accusingly.

"Nico, the main problem might be that now you seem more sober and cool, so she might think you look too much like a little Umi-sister. I admit Umi wouldn't go for incest." She smiled and even laughed.

They made it to school in plenty of time, holding hands and taking a different route from the one Nico used to meet up with Maki on. Nico found she could concentrate better in school today, even though she was eaten up with curiosity over what Kotori could have in mind. Being less depressed trumped being curious. At practice, Rin made a point of partnering with Maki for stretches. Hanayo partnered with Honoka, and Eli alternated stretching with Umi and Nozomi. All of which left Kotori and Nico as partners. Nico made a point of being as friendly with Maki as she could be. However, in return, for the first time, she felt Maki had a certain coldness to her. She couldn't tell for sure, but it didn't seem like jealousy. More like Nico had done something to offend her.

Because of that, it was with a fair amount of distress that Nico went with Kotori. First she made Nico change quickly into a somewhat strange outfit. A flowing white shirt that secured with a blue sash over flowing white trousers, topped with a hat that was like a lace-and-knit version of a swimming cap. As soon as Nico was barely done changing, Kotori pulled on her hand, and off they went. They ended up in front of the drama club. Through the door, Nico heard a girl singing:

> ** _Kokode wa, kono benchi ni, sakunen,_ **  
** _Otokonokotoon'nanoko ga suwatta._ **  
** _Kare wa kanojo no te o totte,_ **  
** _Yasashiku hohoenda._ **
> 
> ** _Karera wa hotondo hanashimasen deshita_ **  
** _Soshite kanojo no kokoro wa me o samashita_ **  
** _Kanojo wa kesshite shiranakatta koto ni._ **
> 
> ** _Watashi wa ano sakunen no otokonoko datta_ **  
** _Soshite on'nanoko wa anata datta._ **

Then another voice said "Okay, stop. It's fine, but I think we should go with the English start. I didn't work very hard on that part."

The singer began again, with respectable pronunciation.

> ** _Here on this bench last year sat a boy and girl.  
_ ** ** _He took her hand in his and she gently smiled.  
_ ** ** _They hardly spoke …_ **

Nico didn't want to interrupt anything, but Kotori knocked.

What turned out to be the director of most of what the drama club did opened the door.

"Oh, this is Yazawa, right?" She turned away and made a gesture with her hand to beckon them in behind her. "Hey, girls, you mind if I work with Yazawa? Her time is tight, and we have to figure out if she works for this."

She turned back toward Nico and Kotori. "Yazawa, you mind coming over here? My name's Kaneko, by the way.

Nico heard another girl there laugh and say "Kantoku Kaneko Kanako!"

The director, indeed named Kaneko Kanako, said "I go by "directa" not "butaikantoku." Since Hana has time to make jokes, she can bring up the music. Minami says you're a good, fast study learning songs, I sure hope so or none of this will work.

They had a small karaoke program on the computer in the drama club, which had good speakers plugged in to it. the director mentioned in passing that it was a great help for musicals. The song was in English, and it had Japanese subtitles. It was quite a strange song.

> _ **I have kissed one or two** _  
_ **maybe three - well, a few** _  
_ **Thanks to Elinor Glyn** _  
_ **You can count me in** _  
_ **On your tiger skin** _

It didn't take many passes for Nico to get the gist of the song, and everyone there helped her with a few pronunciations so she could concentrate on how to sing it. The director stopped her right away and said not to use her upper register or force her voice into her idol persona if she could help it. Their computer program was very sophisticated, and she was able to transpose the song until it all fit into the lowest part of Nico's range. As she'd realized right away, the song, "Sinner Me," was very strange. It seemed to be a woman bragging about her loose morals, and Nico couldn't imagine where, or what time period the character was, and who Elinor Glyn was.

The director turned to the music technician, Hana. "Is it good enough?"

"It's more than good enough for a high school audience. She sings pretty well, and you can understand it unless you're crappy at English," Hana replied.

"Minami said you had a strong but untrained voice, and I think that's about right, Yazawa. Kind of funny for a school idol, but that's your business," the director began. "Anyway, that's probably the hardest song, and it's in English - I do translate the songs, but original language is best at least for the first verse. So. We want you to play the lead. We're doing an abbreviated version of "**_Chrysanthemum_**," with narration to replace some of the scenes."

Nico had a lot of questions, and to her dismay, Kotori said she had to go back and work on µ's costumes. She'd gotten a little behind making an audition costume for Nico. The director told her that Elinor Glyn wrote sexy women's romance novels in England 100 years ago, and that people had blamed her for making the morals of young women erode in both England and America. That the heroine, Chrysanthemum, was kidnapped, forced into prostitution and fed drugs by traffickers, escaped and became a famous cabaret singer in Brazil. When she finally got back to England, she was considered a "loose woman" - a _fushidarana jo_. Her first big song, Sinner Me, is her defying anyone who would condemn her, basically. Her goal in England is getting revenge on a woman there who sold dozens of girls like Chrysanthemum to traffickers. "And yet, it's a light-hearted musical, as well as a melodrama, Yazawa. Chrysanthemum is what they called an "it girl" then. Elinor Glyn said if you had "it," whatever it was, you win all men. Or all women. Her words. **It** can be a quality of the mind as well as a physical attraction. The guy Chrysanthemum ends up with dumps her at first when he finds out she's a 'slut,' but he gets over it. She saves another girl from the traffickers and that girl ends up with another one of Chrysanthemum's old boyfriends. The two main girl parts and their boyfriends and the villain, Ma Carroty, are the only real characters we need. We'll cover the rest in narration. I wanted to do a play that had never been done in Japan before, and as best I could find out, this one fits the bill."

Nico told her, honestly, in the past she'd never have considered doing something like this, but right now she had made a resolution to try new things that people suggested to her, so if they would have her, she was in. She collected some audio on a drive and some lyrics sheets from Hana and put them in her bag.

The director looked at her. "Yazawa-san," she began, finally addressing her more politely. "When the idea of you playing someone being called a _fushidarana jo_ got across to you, you looked very unhappy. I want to say inherently she's pure by our modern standards, really. What bothers you about that?"

Nico didn't know what to say or how to explain, especially given her resolution to appreciate Kotori fully in the week they had together and not insult her by feeling guilty.

"Wait, I think I get it. But I would understand more if it was Nishikino that got upset over that. I understand you want to enter an industry that's very hypocritical about that, and expects you to still be a virgin at 17. You should realize that drama is not the realm of extreme purity. Most of us have kissed more than a few." She laughed.

"Well …" said Nico. "Actually it is three, not a few. Just to set the record straight." Nozomi, Maki, Kotori. Not so many she couldn't keep the number straight.

"Is that so? Well, when you're singing Sinner Me, feel free to reflect on who you WOULD have kissed, if you had your courage up. And who you'd join on a tiger skin - that was the sexiest bedding they had in England at the time. You're basically mocking all the people blaming your status on sexy novels, given what you've been a victim of."

Who WOULD Nico have kissed? She had been quite annoyed at how obviously and quickly Nozomi had preferred Eli to her, so Eli was out. She hadn't really considered the other µ's girls anything but semi-rivals until fairly recently. So who? ARISE? Definitely ARISE. She could picture herself doing pretty much anything with any or all three of them, if she was being honest. Worse, the _all three_ felt like the most appealing. Images of flashing eyes, flashing breasts, and perfect butts came to mind, and Nico blushed. Maybe she wasn't as pure in her sex-only-with-love attitude as she thought.

Kotori had faith she could do this, Nico reminded herself. She pledged to reward her faith by making this a good performance. As was the pattern even with some pop songs, the numbers would mostly start in English and continue in Japanese, depending on how well the director felt she'd translated them and how well the actors were doing with singing English. Also, this way the girls in the audience who were good at English would get a thrill, and the others could still understand the play.

Nico was beginning to get ready to go home when the door opened again, without knocking.

"Hi, hi," a brash voice called out. Three girls came in. The one who announced herself looked at Nico. "Whoa, is that Nico-nii? Seriously? She's part of this?"

The other two new girls did a double-take and said "Wow!" too.

"Wait," said one of them. "She isn't the lead, is she?"

The director said she was, in fact. She told one of the girls she and Hana had determined she should start "Mary Ann" in English.

The girl who'd objected continued. "I mean, no offense, Nico-sempai, but just look at you. You are obviously more cut out to be a Mary Ann than a Chrysanthemum. Mary Ann is the cute little thing Chrysanthemum rescues. She has way fewer lines, too, and time is short. We've all already been rehearsing without a lead because SOMEONE said that would work out. She's just been reading Chrysanthemum's lines and replacing her numbers with recorded music."

"That's no way to talk to your future wife, John," the director said. "In all seriousness, Sana, there's a reason it's called acting, isn't there? Yazawa-san, I think she just wants to be paired with her best friend instead of you. Even though she claims to only be interested in boys, the way she gets jealous about Kanna is pre-ety suspicious."

"Fine, fine," Sana said. "I am in your care, Nico-sempai. Umm you will have to memorize a lot, because you're not just an actor, you have to do some of the narration in the whisper box. It gives you that dreamy narrator voice-over sound."

The girl who had greeted everyone when they came in spoke up. "I guess you are stuck with me for Bob, Kanna-chan. For your sake, so Sana won't kill you, I promise no tongue in our kiss scene." Kanna hadn't said anything but she punched the girl in the side. "Ow! Husband-beating! Scandal! I'm Hinata, Nico-sempai. But you have to call Kanako 'directa' or she'll pout."

Nico was beginning to flash back to when she had her first idol group. She was going to have to re-learn how to juggle her school, extracurricular activities, and family time. Well, she was just about to graduate from high school, so maybe it was about time. She'd go back to looking over song lyrics while cooking. She probably wouldn't have any time at all for surfing on the web or buying idol merchandise or haunting idol shops.

Kotori had mentioned that this morning, in fact. That as Nico had more things outside the idol fan scene going on, she might not need as much of it as she did before, because the gap in her life would be filled in other ways. It certainly wasn't quite true that she only did that to take her mind off her problems, it was genuinely fun, but there was an element of that. She would have to keep current with fads and fashions and memes in a more rapid, sketchy way, and probably lean on poor Hanayo a great deal. She resolved to say that was what she was doing on her blog. Wouldn't it be a nice surprise to have the champion idol fan Yazawa Nico acknowledge prominently that Koizumi Hanayo was her current go-to source on all things idol? The old Nico wouldn't have had a thought like that in a million years.

Still, she was going to be stressed, and with less time to de-stress, so … oh. She blushed again. Collecting her script and putting it in her bag, she bid them farewell and the director said they'd negotiate her schedule via text and email. Then she went home to her lover.

They retreated to the bedroom right after dinner. It was late, and using the hand shower to clean up afterward was more efficient than a bath first. As Kotori had hoped, the second time had cleared up most of Nico's reservations. Nico admitted she'd thought about "de-stressing" earlier in the day. Kotori laughed and said she hoped this was better than hitting reload on internet auction sites for hours, and Nico said of course it was. They focused on further exploring what things made Kotori hot, and Nico felt gratified when something worked. Kotori definitely had the best night so far, and after they cleaned up and went back to bed, she said, "Nico, that was very de-stressful."


	7. NicoTori 6: Surprise A-RISE and Nico

Nico's phone rang an hour before she and Kotori had planned to get up. Normally Nico would have gotten upset, but she had changed a bit. Weirdly, it was Tsubasa. Nico pulled on the shirt Kotori had picked out for her last night. She got up silently, went out of Kotori's room without waking her, and then said, in a soft voice, "Why is Kira Tsubasa of all people calling Nico, and at this hour?"

"Hey, Nico!" she heard Tsubasa's cheery voice saying. "Clean yourself up, get dressed, make Kotori some breakfast she can heat up, put some coffee on, and meet me outside. Hurry it up, too." And then, after a pause, "Make sure you kiss her goodbye - on the cheek if she's sleeping. Never break character or you break the spell." Nico had her Resolution - the big one - going on, so she didn't even question Tsubasa. She just agreed, and headed to the bathroom to give herself a quick "bath" with a wet rag. Then she pulled on her underwear from the day before and a skirt and top Kotori had laid out to lend to her.

She went in the kitchen and opened the freezer of Kotori's refrigerator. Seeing little American-style potato fritters, and even sausages, she decided to make Kotori a Western breakfast. In the refrigerator was some shiitake and green onion, eggs, and a slice of cheese that should probably be used up.

She set a couple things cooking - the potato fritters and sausage in one pan, the eggs whipped with water and a little milk in the other, all with a small amount of oil. Sure enough, the Minamis had a Western coffee maker. It was interesting, given how traditional the food she'd had here was. She prepared the coffee and timed it to brew when Kotori was scheduled to get up. She quickly rushed into the bathroom again, brushed her teeth hastily, fixed her hair somewhat, then ran back out and finished up the breakfast, folding the shiitake, cheese and green onion into the omelette. She turned off the stove burners, dished the food out in a plastic bento she'd found in the cupboard and left it on the kitchen counter with a note:

> "Dear Kotori: 
> 
> Tsubasa woke me early and wants to meet for some reason. She sends her regards. Please warm up breakfast when you see this. I will call you when I can, after your wake-up time. Coffee is brewing.
> 
> Love, Nico Nico-Nii <3"

Kotori had lent Nico a key - to the house of Otonokizaka's principal! Nico made sure she had it in her little purse. She dashed to Kotori's room, then tiptoed in and kissed Kotori on the cheek. Kotori moved only a little, but didn't wake. She looked really beautiful when asleep. Nico was embarrassed when she discovered that, far from adopting a strange little tuft in her hair on purpose, it took Kotori ten to fifteen minutes every morning just to get her hair not to stick out all over. That tuft would pop up no matter what she did, so she just let it alone as long as it was symmetrical. But her wild bed-hair looked very sultry to Nico.

Nico gently partly closed Kotori's door. She made sure the door was locked, then headed to the sidewalk. Sure enough, Tsubasa's cute, sporty little car pulled up. There was the idol, one that others called "palm-sized" though Nico never would.

"Breakfast," Tsubasa said. She sped off as Nico buckled in.

When they got to a cute little kissaten that specialized in breakfast food, Anju and Erena had already ordered for, from the looks of it, all four of them. "It's our treat today, Nico-chan," Tsubasa said. "I'll let Anju explain what's up." Nico was having a French-style breakfast to complement Kotori's American-style breakfast. She had a "cafe-au-lait" that was half Americano and half cream, a little yogurt, a small bread with jam and butter, and a small tumbler of wine. Did French people really drink wine even with breakfast? She had no clue. The whole combination, however, turned out to be surprisingly tasty, even though only the jam catered to Nico's famous sweet tooth. It reminded her of Kotori and her flavorful, barely-sweet desserts. Nico was being trained again, she decided.

"So," Anju began. "The good news is we want you to do something. The better news is, we were bored so we asked Kotori what you could do on the fly - there's a free show we promised to do a while back but we didn't want to do our usual material. So we’re learning two of the songs from Chrysanthemum.” She looked at Nico, amused at her stunned expression. “We are making them dance songs. The dancing will be exactly like Private Wars. We know for sure you have it memorized.” That much was true.

“Wait,” said Nico. “You mean you turned Sinner Me and Mary Ann into dance songs?”

Erena spoke up. “If you have confidence, Nico-chan, you can turn anything into a dance song. But no, Sinner Me and Is This Love. Learn your songs, actress-san!”

Tsubasa added: “While we think this will be wonderful and refreshing, it’s also a way to make something up to Nico-chan.” She continued, “When I talked with Maki-chan a while back, she seemed kind of distant. I bugged her about it and she said when we were trying to pay you all a sincere compliment, we basically insulted Nico-chan, and you were really bothered by it.”

“Which Singer X, and an upcoming actress, shouldn’t have to experience, we now know,” Anju said. “We realize how busy you are, and you’re going to get busier. Umi tells Honoka things and Honoka tells Tsubasa things, and so it goes. So we wanted to make it as minimal an effort on your part as possible.”

They had all finished their food, and they were in the corner of a spacious part of the cafe. After their plates and cups were cleared away, Anju pulled out an mp3-player and turned it on. Sure enough, a keyboarded, dance-y version of Sinner Me played. Behind their table A-RISE had lined up and were singing with the choreography of Private Wars, as promised. Nico stayed true to the Resolution and started imitating Erena, who was next to her end. As they danced in the cafe, A-RISE began to sing about kissing more than a few and antics on a tiger-skin rug. Nico followed suit. Her experience with Kotori a couple of nights ago stood her in good stead. She no longer felt self-conscious about her voice and lack of training. She just went forward, as she’d have to do with the musical.

The old Nico could never have done anything so embarrassing. She didn’t dwell on it, but she knew that was something she and Maki had in common. Was Nico becoming someone so different they’d not be able to get along? She decided that she wouldn’t let that happen.

They did enough of “Sinner Me” to make it clear Nico would be able to pick it up. Then their dance-y re-mix of “Is This Love?” which Nico didn’t know yet, played. “We’re throwing in some moves from “Shocking Party, Nico!” Anju called out. Nico continued to imitate Erena, and listened carefully as they sang the lyrics.

> ** _Coo like a dove?_ **
> 
> ** _But I'm feeling as gay_ **
> 
> ** _As a ... day,_ **
> 
> ** _At the fact that I_ **
> 
> ** _Try to impress,_ **
> 
> ** _Want to caress,_ **
> 
> ** _... to unrest you._ **
> 
> ** _Is this love?_ **

Was this play really 100 years old? No, wait, that wasn’t quite right. But apparently it was more than 60 years old. About an era 100 years ago, in England. Gay? Caress you? And the story - trafficking, girls getting fed drugs until they were hooked, kidnapped, sold into sex slavery - she’d assumed that was a modern problem. Apparently not. And how on Earth was it meant to be funny? And according to the director, it was made into a wholesome American movie. And people in England and America thought JAPAN was weird. She shook her head and paid attention again.

They repeated what they’d done, and Nico was able to sing most of it and follow their lead. A-RISE agreed that one real practice and Nico would be able to perform with them. And with that:

“Anju and Erena will pay, so let’s jump in the car. If we rush, you won’t be late for school, and neither will we, Nico-chan,” Tsubasa said with a grin. “You can phone Kotori in the car, she should be up soon.” In passing she waved at two of the waiters, drawing Nico’s attention to them. They were applauding the strange little mini-practice

* * *

Nico did as Tsubasa suggested, and phoned Kotori. The girl had just gotten up, looked around for Nico, and found the note she’d left. She thanked Nico for making breakfast and coffee, but said she’d missed seeing her face waking up. Nico blushed.

“Is Nico-chan blushing now?” she heard. “Maybe Nico will have even more reason tonight, but first, what did Tsubasa want?”

Even more reason? What did that mean? Was Kotori just making sexy talk, or was something up? Flustered, Nico stuttered a bit before getting ahold of herself and telling Kotori about her morning.

“Ah, Nico has her work cut out for her, I see. My guess is they’ll do a mini show in the park where all the food carts and benches are, near Otonokizaka. And probably put in a plug for “Chrysanthemum,” too. And Nico-chan still has a lot of studying and homework to do, too. Ara, what shall we do?”

Nico wondered aloud why Kotori seemed a bit amused.

“Well, Nico-chan, I am amused and happy both. Nico has come through as well as I expected, and maybe a bit better than that. What we must do, I think, is arrange study sessions with Eli and Nozomi for this coming weekend. I will work things out with them and Umi, so don’t mind. Just go to your rehearsals, with us and with the actors, and then … well, I wonder?”

Nico didn’t say anything, probably to Kotori’s disappointment, but she soldiered on:

“Tonight it’s high time we stayed at Nico’s house, don’t you think?” 

Unfortunately, they’d arrived at Otonokizaka, and Nico barely had time to say goodbye to Kotori and thank Tsubasa before dashing off to class.

* * *

**Preview of the next installment “Home Visits and Nico”**

> ** _Mama Yazawa sighed. “Nico, when you and Maki sound-proofed your room with egg-shell foam ‘to practice music,’ you did a good enough job for the little ones, so I didn’t protest. But I don’t have four children for nothing. I know what I’m hearing, even when you have music playing.”_ **
> 
> ** **


	8. NicoTori 7: Home Visits and Nico

Probably only Cocoro was getting it, but that was fine. She could re-explain to the little ones as she saw fit.

"Hey," Nico said. "What's going on is, Maki-chan and I didn't have a fight. She said we should spend a little time apart. I'm not explaining it all because it's not something you'll have to worry about until you're much, much older."

Kotori looked at Nico questioningly. Nico squeezed her hand, which she took as assent.

"You know, the other thing is that I said Nico and I should spend a little bit of time together, so I think it's working out okay. Your sister is doing fine. And Maki will visit again sometime in the future, I am certain. Should we say hi to her for you?"

They were enthusiastic about that, but still dubious about the situation. Cocoro had obviously decided to step up and act as maturely as possible.

"If Nico-nee doesn't want us to worry, I won't worry, and that's that. Okay, Cocoa? Okay, Cotarou?"

Just to test her out, probably, the two youngest mobbed Kotori. They were satisfied that she let them jump in her lap and cuddled them just like Maki had done on her frequent visits to the Yazawa home. They weren't going to be satisfied if they lost Maki-nee, but it was okay if Kotori-san hung around for a while. Probably. At least through dinner.

* * *

They had arrived at the Yazawa house a bit later than usual for Nico, but her mother and Cocoro knew about it. She was doing drama rehearsal and µ's rehearsal in the same afternoon, so her mother had dinner ready when she arrived, and had made enough for Kotori, as well. Nico had told Kotori she learned how to cook like a chef from her mother, and it seemed to be true.

When Nico asked her mother if Kotori could stay over in her room, she thought she saw an odd expression cross her mother's face, but when she agreed immediately, she decided she might be mistaken about that.

She wasn't.

After dinner, when they'd established themselves in Nico's room, including their homework and textbooks, they heard a knock. Nico's mother asked to come in, then did so, closing the door behind herself.

"Nico, tell me what's going on with you now, please."

Nico asked if she meant, besides being very busy, to which her mother nodded. 

"Well," she began. "I have been very down-in-the-dumps but I am trying to cheer up, now. I suppose that's the main thing."

"My apologies, Kotori-chan, but I have to be very direct. Nico, is this an indication that you're moving on from Maki-chan? Are you and Kotori becoming a couple now? I'd like to know."

Kotori sheepishly put up her hand ass if she was in class. When Nico's mom looked at her, she said, "If it's alright, Nico would be less embarrassed if you and I talked about this not in front of her. I realize that's a little strange, but I can answer your questions as well as she can. Perhaps better, as Nico is still, really, just getting her feet under her."

Nico looked shocked. She'd never come right out and said she and Maki were lovers. She'd wondered how much her mother knew. Now she was finding out. Her mother caught her expression.

Mama Yazawa sighed. "Nico, when you and Maki sound-proofed your room with egg-shell foam 'to practice music,' you did a good enough job for the little ones, so I didn't protest. But I don't have four children for nothing. I know what I'm hearing, even when you have music playing."

Seeing how stricken her daughter looked, she said "Nico, it's fine. I don't understand what's going on with you and these girls. But the fact that Kotori wants to talk with me privately is probably a good sign. She's been able to bring you out of the blue funk you were in when you and Maki broke up, and that goes a long way with me. So relax. As long as it's no worse than it was with Maki - well, you're nearly eighteen now. You have a right to some happiness, Heaven knows. "

Nico gave a very half-hearted smile. She didn't want to speak up, because, suddenly, having Kotori talk to her mother didn't sound crazy, which it had when Kotori was offering it. It felt like something that would calm her down, if anything. She was right, and the rest of µ's was right. Getting better was not the same thing as "better."

"Nico, this seems to be a strange night. Perhaps Kotori and I should go out and get a cup of tea together. Is that alright with you?" her mother asked, suddenly.

"I am sorry to both of you for being so useless, but it's a good idea," Nico replied.

"Nico, for almost two years you kept from all of us that you weren't doing your idol shows, that you were sitting all alone in a small, dark room, sad, lonely and miserable when you could have been home with us, just to keep up appearances. Honey, if there is one thing I would change about you, that would be it."

"Contrariwise," she continued. "I can't imagine what a more useful girl your age would be like. I agree with your sisters and brother, Nico. You are an amazing young woman. You can do almost anything competently, and many things expertly, if you really try. Please don't use that word to describe yourself, baby. Please, never again be afraid to tell your family what's really going on, and what you're really feeling. You don't have to be the mother all the time any more. If I am going off to talk with Kotori-chan, it's because I am your mother, and I care. You don't have to get past me to live your life as you see fit, because I believe I raised you to make the right choices, in the end." She hugged Nico tightly, and with that, she and Kotori left the room. A short while later, Nico heard the door open and close.

* * *

"So," Yazawa Kotono said. She took a sip of her tea and put it down.

The girl opposite her, Minami Kotori, felt at a loss for words. Being confident with Nico was one thing. This was an older, shrewder, more intimidating Nico, and the topic of discussion was her beloved daughter. And her, well, I guess you couldn't call it chastity any more. Her love life, that was it.

Very well. "It's not so simple that Nico can easily say yes or no, I think. The situation is bizarre, and I am the one most responsible for it being so strange, I think. Did you know how Nico was over Maki?"

"She seemed really crushed. Why did they break up, if I can ask something like that?"

"Well, hmmm. Nico was really dependent on her, and it started to make Maki feel suffocated. She has to study science, get perfect grades, study music for her recitals, practice dancing with µ's, write all our songs, keep her parents at bay when they probe if her non-medical-preparation activities are going to affect the bottom line - that girl has a lot on her plate. More than Nico, even. They actually have a lot in common, strangely enough. Umm, what I mean is, the Nishikinos are very wealthy, the opposite of your family. But their child feels a lot of pressure, too, just like yours. Anyway, Nico was all love, love, love constantly, and Maki's a lot more reserved. She also started to feel like Nico was using her relationship as a kind of crutch to avoid dealing with her problems. It kind of built up, and built up, and finally Maki one day just said 'we need to take a break from this, Nico.'"

Mama Yazawa was sad to hear the story, but was she really surprised. Probably not very.

"Anyway, crushed, yes, crushed is fine. I mean, completely crushed. Nico was taking no initiative ever, just doing whatever anyone told her to, trying to smile, crying all the time. Feeling completely hopeless and lost and useless and unwanted. You know, most of us in µ's like girls. Maybe many of us only like girls. I think Nico's that way, but I am not sure about it for any of us, even me, since we go to an all-girls' school. We didn't really see Nico as one of the heartbreakers in the group, to be honest, because her idol persona was a bit too much, and her normal grumpy, selfish persona was, too. It's only now that she's kind of gentle and wistful you can see how pretty she is. But that's not what led to this, not quite. Or not all of it."

"Go on." Kotono decided if the information was flowing freely, no point in stemming it with accusatory questions.

"You see, me, Honoka and Umi have been together for years. When you are all close, and you all like girls THAT way, then at some point you have to face that two of you may pair up, and where does that leave the other one? A third wheel? But we've been avoiding dealing with that. For one thing, we thought Honoka might get together with the leader of our rival group, A-RISE. But that didn't happen, or not so far. And also, we are all romantics at heart. The idea that we would get together and break up seems really sad. But we also realize that finding just one person and never even dating anyone else, that doesn't work. Anyway, we were on the edge of discussing things more openly, and I decided I would try to date Nico for a while. I brought that up, and Umi and Honoka thought it was a terrible idea, right?"

"Yes, it seems a bit whimsical. You hadn't previously considered it?"

"Nope. But now, with her on the rebound, and her heart still in Maki's back pocket, was a perfect time to try dating someone, seriously, but with a time limit, of whatever time it would take for Nico to rebound and become herself again. And like I said, she was suddenly attractive, which was a big bonus." She paused.

"Then Honoka agreed. She even said, half-jokingly, that when Nico and I were done dating, she and Nico should go out. 'If we did it right, we could give her a couple months to get over Maki-chan, if µ's each dated her for a short time.' The thing about that is, it made sense to me. The only reason not to do it was what other people would say. But by this point, we had a huge reserve of good feeling in our group. To a degree, I didn't care what anyone else thought except µ's. I said all this out loud, and, completely shocking me and Honoka, Umi said she wanted in, too. She said she'd been thinking about the three of us and how she didn't want a sad breakup like NicoMaki had. She realized she was too innocent and inexperienced to have a good relationship, and that people who'd never tried dating anyone else usually got restless if they stayed with their first partner for a long time."

She looked over at mama Yazawa. "And just like that, this weird topic became a real thing. I called Eli, I called Nozomi. I talked about it with Rin and Hanayo in person. Eli thought it was really absurd and crazy. Perhaps even evil. She's not so much into the girl/girl thing, she just thinks it's romantic someone can put aside gender for the one they love. Anyway, by the next day, Nozomi had somehow convinced her. And just like THAT, we had a commitment from everyone else in µ's. Except Maki, of course. That is causing some trouble. Maki feels like we're conspiring against her. That we're blaming her for Nico's sadness. Umm ..." Kotori stopped talking.

Kotono waited a while then mimicked Kotori: "Ummm?"

"Ummmmyeah Nico and I have slept together. And Umi plans to, and Honoka plans to. Rin and Hanayo are probably too innocent. And we're all girlfriends for a week. At the end of our week, we hand Nico over to the next girl. Nico thought it was as bad an idea as Eli, at first, but in truth, it's made her happy, so I think she'll stick with it. Especially because we're also kind of helping her get her life in order and improve, so it's not just comfort. And now that she's been with more than her I-love-you-to-death-forever one-true-soul-mate, she's less embarrassed and reluctant about things like that. So I think it'll happen with Umi AND Honoka. And there's one other thing ..."

"I am afraid to ask, if it goes beyond those things you've already talked about, but go on ..."

"Well, my first time was a couple of days ago. And it will be that way for Umi, too. And Honoka. And maybe Eli and Nozomi, assuming they're not already there. And even, I guess, just possibly, Rin and Hanayo. I guess that's strange, too? Like a ritual, almost?"

"Why on Earth is it THAT way, Kotori-chan?"

"Well, in our case, us the threesome ... Once I 'did it' it'd be unbalanced if Honoka and Umi had their first time together. They'd be the couple, at least for now, and I'd be the third wheel. They are going on dates while I am dating Nico, but they're not 'doing it.' If all of us are equal that way, we're back to where we started, sort of? It's confusing to explain."

"It's nothing that would have happened in my day. Kotori, what do you know about your mother's time in school?"

"Did you go to school with mom? I don't think she's ever mentioned that."

"No, a rival school. But word travels between the schools. So, what do you know?"

"Well, like you say, rumors?"

"Like what?"

"Well, she says certain things, like, 'Ah, but I won't talk about that.' So I think there must be something to not talk about. Did she date girls in high school? That would be amusing, but reassuring."

"It may not be my place, but the truth is, for a couple of years she was, apparently, dating Maki-chan's mother.If so, you and Maki-chan owe your lives to their breakup." Kotono smiled as the girl grimaced. She had a little bit of Nico's rather trollish sense of humor at times. "I bring it up, not to gossip, but to say your mother would probably understand ... well, some of what you're doing. I don't have the luxury of being easily offended. If my daughter, at some point, becomes distraught over this, please promise me you won't pressure her to continue just to achieve balance."

Kotori considered that. "That's actually a very good request. I'll talk about it with Umi and Honoka, but I'll do my best. Ummm .. you know how Nico is, though. In a given week, I think she'd rather be uncomfortable or unhappy rather than not follow through on something she's committed to. But on the week breaks, maybe we should always, always, ask her to reflect a bit before going on? Is that good enough?"

It was, Kotono decided. She paid for their tea and they walked back to the Yazawa's apartment. Later that night, after Nico had tucked in Cocoa and Cotarou and caught up with Cocoro a bit on events in their lives, and Cocoro's schoolwork, Kotono retired to her room, and Nico and Kotori to Nico's room. She heard music start to play, faintly through the soundproofing. Well, she couldn't say the girl hadn't warned her.


	9. NicoTori 8: Day Five - Two More Days Allowed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NicoTori have had their first Yazawa home-stay. Having weathered that storm, Kotori decides to move their love life along when they return to the Minami household. Meawhile, Nico's acting career takes off, and her only worry is that her friendship with Maki has clearly slipped away.

Nico set her alarm early enough that she had plenty of time to make breakfast. Kotori woke up and without saying a word changed into her uniform. Normally Nico would have stayed in her pajamas until she was done cooking, but they did have an apron, so she changed as well. Kotori followed her to the kitchen, looking like she wanted to help. Since Nico often cooked with her mother or Cocoro, they actually had two aprons, so Nico handed her one. The breakfast was more elaborate than at Kotori’s house — even the one Nico made for her. Kotori reflected that Umi would run every ounce off of Nico, so she hoped she enjoyed it. But better not to mention that to Nico until she had to deal with it. Surprising her with things had worked surprisingly well. Kotori laughed at that way of putting it in her mind, and Nico looked at her, puzzled. Kotori made a lips-are-sealed gesture, which only confused Nico more, but she and Kotori finished breakfast. Kotori set the table, and Nico brought the food out. Then she went and woke her siblings, knocked on her mother’s door, and said, “Breakfast, momma.”

When she came out to the kitchen table, it was a little unreal for Yazawa Kotono, seeing her daughter and her new girlfriend sitting next to each other at a breakfast they’d made together. (She noticed the omurice wasn’t quite up to Nico’s standards, so Kotori must have finished it). Mainly because, apparently, this was her temporary girlfriend. Kotono felt old. Which was no way to feel when you’d decided to go out and seek romance. She decided to, instead, congratulate herself for being so open-minded and keeping up with her turbulent teenager’s volatile social life.

When they parted at school, Kotori winked and told Nico she’d have a surprise ready for her that night. They were back at the Minami’s after all, because Principal Minami would still be out of town. Practice was the same as before. Nico tried to approach Maki, who was so cold and unresponsive Nico had to give up before she broke down in tears. It was clear Maki thought Nico was turning the rest of µ’s against her. If Nico had given in to her tears, Maki would have probably seen that as yet another example of depicting her as a villain. But she did say, “Nico has never, not ever, not even once, ever, said one bad thing about Maki-chan. Nico has never done anything to make Maki hate her except, Nico supposes, fail to be a good enough girlfriend. Maki-chan has no right to hate Nico.” She had to leave it at that.

Despite feeling so depressed she almost couldn’t move, when Nico got to drama rehearsal, she was able to focus and forget her troubles. In fact, she even nailed all the lines in the voice-over in English, when the director experimented. She decided it sounded good enough that Nico’s (Chrysanthemum’s) part of the voice-overs would be in English. Since they would be recorded anyway and played over a speaker during the play, Kanako-san simply had Nico re-do two of the places where it hadn’t come out right, and Nico was done with that part. She also gave the rest of the voice-overs to Hana to finalize, while she coached Nico on some of the finer points of the Chrysanthemum performance. She filled in lines for the missing girls who had to come in later, as usual. She told Nico they’d be early the next day. She decided that all of Nico’s songs would be in English only, too. That way, Nico could legitimately call it an almost all-English role on her acting resume. Just the dialog would be in Japanese so most of the crowd wouldn't use the thread. The voiceovers and songs combined had more lines than the dialog lines.

It went so well, it lifted Nico’s mood over Maki’s continued hostility.

Kotori had many surprises waiting for Nico. She had embarrassing, sexy underwear in Nico’s size she made Nico change into right away, and to go over it, Kotori had laid out a skimpy, peek-a-boo outfit based on the Otonokizaka uniform. Nico’s had the wrong colored ribbon — a blue first-year’s. By now, she was used to suppressing her objections and simply playing along, so she did.

When she got out there, Kotori, dressed similarly but with her proper red ribbon, had cleared the entire living room and moved the couch to the wall. She listed things she and Nico had had trouble with at rehearsal that day, and said they would practice. Nico smiled and said Kotori was crazy.

Kotori looked at her semi-seriously and told her to call her “Sempai.” Nico had a sinking feeling. Were they descending to cosplay and role-play? Well, at this point, what was the point of pride anyway? So yet again, Nico went along. They practiced vigorously, somewhat indecently, for an hour, and gave each other blunt feedback. The only time Kotori objected is if Nico failed to call her “Sempai,” but otherwise she was fair game. Sure enough, Kotori made Nico call her "sempai" in the bath, then in bed. Before bathing, she made “Nico-chan” strip for her, slowly and sexily. And they both put the lingerie on after the bath before climbing into bed. They made out for quite a while before it came off again, too. They didn’t spend as much time “as usual” with each other -- Kotori told Nico she had a “big, big day” the next day, but wouldn’t say any more. She just said Nico needed to be rested and in good shape.

As she fell asleep, Nico reflected that in two days, this would end, “just when I am getting so used to it.” But she realized much more and it would have been impossibly painful, and that she and Kotori both had other interests floating out there. Either way, Nico was now an “experienced girl,” not the innocent she’d started the year as. Hopefully, she’d eventually toughen up, though not so much that she got jaded. The thought was somewhere between a wish and a prayer.


	10. NicoTori 9: Day Six - One More Day Allowed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time on Fushidara na Jo Nico:
> 
> Nico nails all the whispery voiceover narration in English. All the English studying she’s done is paying off. It is decided Nico will sing everything in English. Only her dialog will be in Japanese. Maki still not speaking to Nico. NicoTori 5th time: lingerie. Also cosplay based on Otonokizaka uniforms and Kotori makes Nico call her sempai.

Nico and Kotori got up early, as had become a habit by now. They ate a quick breakfast so they could get to school early: Kotori said they should stop in and see Principal Minami, who was back from her trip. Nico wasn't told why, and it was hard to speculate. Surely, with only two days left in their "relationship," Kotori wouldn't tell her mother that they were dating. That seemed really far-fetched. More likely, it was yet another project. Nico and Kotori had listened to Chrysanthemum during breakfast, and Nico was already spending her lunch time studying instead of socializing; so, if it was too arduous, Nico would have to say no, she guessed. But she didn't intend to say anything until after they had talked with the principal. Now that she was back on the schedule she'd had when she started school, Nico realized how wise Kotori had been to say they needed to learn to just be there, side by side, doing the important things without feeling obligated to entertain each other.

Nico thought about Maki suddenly, while they were en route to school, with a pang of guilt. She had probably — no, definitely — not considered Maki's time a lot. Their ability to communicate hadn't matched Kotori's, and Nico had been too addicted to lovey-dovey stuff with Maki, even to just clinging to her like, if she had heard the other girls talking about her clearly, "a baby koala." Well, probably so. She was now, in retrospect, not entirely proud of herself. Still, how often did someone make you their whole world, the way Nico had with Maki? Where was everyone's sense of romance, again? She still wished that Maki had at least acknowledged that, and they'd come to some sort of workable compromise. But she hadn't, she wouldn't, and they hadn't. That was all wishful thinking on Nico's part.

She no longer felt guilty about such thoughts. As the end of their time grew near, thinking about long-term stuff like that would help Nico be less clingy and dependent with Kotori. Besides, she couldn't control her roving Maki thoughts. All she could do was stop dwelling on them. Today, as usual, she needed to focus on her existing responsibilities, as well as Kotori's plans.

Ah. Kotori. She looked over at her for a second as they neared the school. Kotori looked back at her and gave her her shy, charming, somehow knowing smile. Had Nico made her a little more like Nozomi? But anyway. Nico decided she would never forget her. This whole crazy situation was her idea, and she'd stuck with it. Nico would have bet her life savings against this all happening. She should tell her, tonight. How grateful she was, and how impressed.

* * *

When they reached the principal's office, Principal Minami smiled at Nico. She knew Nico was more inclined than her daughter to consider a visit with the principal an ordeal. After having Kotori close the door, she beckoned them to two chairs in front of her desk.

"Please, don't be mystified, Yazawa-san. Kotori came to me with a request, and I wished to briefly discuss it with you. In essence, she wants permission for you to miss going to classes, either in the morning or the afternoon, depending on other things you need to do. 

"Your grades are even better than they were in your first year, Yazawa-san. They weren't bad in your second year, but they were much less than you showed you were capable of. And of course, You, Kousaka-san and Hoshizora-san had a big slump the first part of your third year. I think that was a problem with adjusting to your hectic practice schedules. My daughter told me what happened to you during that first year, and how it carried forward the next year. It's probably good she waited, because if I had had your past misfortune in mind, I wouldn't have approved a school idol group for anyone this time around. I talked with Ayase-san on the phone, and with my daughter, and they both say you're caught up and trying your hardest at school. Kotori has pointed out to me that soon you need to be furthering your career goals. She showed me the video she shot, and it's very good — a credit to the school.

"So, you have my permission to skip a morning or afternoon period when you need to, as long as it doesn't interfere with your grades or your progress towards taking the entrance exams. I realize some of what you are doing is just as necessary, if you choose a performance-oriented school, or want a scholarship. I had concerns like that for you, Koizumi-san and Ayase-san in mind when I gave you all permission to enter Love Live! Your teachers are familiar with people leaving even just to study for the exams, so simply notify them the day before if you can. And good luck, today! No, I won't tell you what Kotori and the others have in mind, my lips are sealed." At that point, the bell rang, and they had to go to their first classes. 

* * *

Kotori said they would, in fact, be taking the afternoon off. "I got special permission from Mom, I won't be able to do this going forward." She told Nico to meet her by the library before lunch. After meeting up again, they dashed to the station and hopped on a train Nico didn't remember taking before. To her great surprise, she recognized the building near where they got off as a recording studio. Just as she was realizing that, Kotori told her they probably both wouldn't make it back in time for idol practice or drama club, but the girls involved were forewarned that that was likely.

With Love Live! itself coming up, the µ's members had wanted at least the option of daily practices. Sometimes, Eli, Umi or Rin had been too busy, and one time Nozomi had stayed back and done Eli's paperwork so Eli could join. Today was NicoTori's day to be absent, apparently. She made the mistake of saying that, and Kotori corrected her: "It's KotoNico, Nico-chan." For some reason that made her laugh out loud. Kotori hugged her side and then held her hand and they walked in, both laughing. Kotori whispered in Nico's ear as they approached the group of girls waiting inside, "I see all a girl has to do to have a fun dating relationship with Nico-chan is put out, no?" Nico turned bright red, but it broke any nervous tension she'd started to accumulate.

She recognized one of the girls - Yuki Anju, the princess of A-RISE (and the one that looked the most like Maki. Stop. Just stop.), but Nico didn't know the other three. Anju waved and said, "Just leaving, Nico-chan, but I had to introduce you to my friends." Without further ado, she introduced Kurobane Sakuya, an elegantly dressed girl who looked like she could be Tsubasa's little sister; Takamagahara Mutsuki, a childish-looking girl with glasses and carrot orange hair in twin-tails that stuck out of her head like ears; and Tsukishima Yuka, a tomboyish girl who looked like a skateboarder version of Kotori. They were all from Shion Girls Academy, and all, apparently, friends with the A-RISE girls. With a wave and a "Good luck, Nico-chan!" she was off.

Kurobane was warming up at a lovely grand piano (much like the one used by ... okay, she had this under control. She did. 'Go, me!' Nico thought to herself). Takamagahara had an acoustic bass she was practicing bowing and picking, and Tsukushima was seated behind a complex drum machine. Kotori had brought along her favorite outfit from middle school, which she had grown out of. Kotori handed it to Nico, and, like the professional show woman she was probably training to be, she ducked partly behind Kurobane and the grand piano and stripped down and put it on.

Nico assumed Kotori would handle the sound, as she had at the karaoke place, but not so: she took Tsukushima's place behind the drum machine. That girl moved Kotori's arms into a better position, showed her how to work all the pedals first, then indicated which buttons, pads and switches she should work, and told her to avoid the rest of the machine. She patiently took Kotori through the rhythm of the various parts of the songs they would be recording. Nico recognized most of them, but not all. Kotori must have liked the order they had at the karaoke place, because Nico recognized she was starting up the distinctive rhythm for "Train, Train."

Nico tentatively started to warm up vocally for the song, and the other four girls just stared at her. Tsukushima, at the sound controls, said, "Don't sing, Yazawa-san!" Apparently, it was "way too early" in their multiple takes for each song. This run-through was for Kotori, and for Nico to listen to the music and re-acquaint herself with the song. She could, if she wanted, hum or sing along in a near-whisper to practice the lyrics, but the worry was that she'd exhaust her voice long before the last take of the last song. What they were doing, using one half-day in a studio to record what amounted to an album's worth of songs, was similar both to a live performance and to a studio session for a new act without much funds. Nico was encouraged to lip-sync and get a feel for how she wanted to move during a song.

"And if we shoot any video, Nico-chan, you will have to do at least five takes. And the one with the best movement won't be the one with the best vocals. It's the way of the world," Tsukushima said. The other three girls all nodded, sagely.

The three Shion girls were all aspiring school, and later professional, idols, but like Maki, two of them were also very good instrumentalists. They tore into "Train, Train," which was a mellow song for the Japanese punk band that performed it, and made it hard-charging and edgy with how they attacked it. Kotori kept up, it was her usual hyper competence. In a way, they shared that, along with the experience of creating and living with a persona. Nico chose to whisper chant along with the song. The lyrics were there on a screen, but the more you memorized, the more natural you'd sound.

The second time through, Kotori had improved a lot — with a more simple drum part — and Nico felt she'd internalized the song somewhat. The sound girl seemed to be directing everything. She had Nico start to sing the song, without full force, then cut her off and made several adjustments. Start over. Cut. Start over. On to another part. Start over. Adjust. In the end it took ten minutes for the second take of a three minute and 45 second song. Kotori never complained about all the start-overs, so Nico didn't, either. The actual run-through was mainly for Kotori again, and Nico was told not to sing the whole song. That waited for the third take. Nico was praised by Tsukushima for getting it right in one run-through: "I think this song suits Yazawa-san, somehow, even though it's both sad and hopeful." Nico didn't comment except to thank her for the praise.

The next two songs went quickly, as both Kotori and Nico were now accustomed to the process. Then came a song Nico didn't know, that she'd have to learn. It turned out to be one written by Kira Tsubasa, Yuki Anju and Todo Erena. Kurobane explained as she started playing that this was a song that A-RISE didn't think could be "made danceable, so they're donating it to Yazawa-san." Kotori was probably pleased, because Nico's eyes teared up at that. The song "Aijou fukaku no tomodachi" or "Loving Friends" was A-RISE's slow loving tribute to each other, clearly. But it worked just as well for Nico and her µ's friends — no, more like saviors lately. The three new girls taught Nico the song during the run-throughs for the drums and Nico's vocal checks. Then, just as they had with "Train, Train," they had Nico sing the song all the way through. After just one take, they were satisfied. Of course, they'd chosen the one song where Nico had tears in her eyes to video record. Nico thought of objecting, but then thought again: playing along with everything had gotten her pretty far. In a way, people were giving her what she'd tearfully asked for in the club room. They were telling her what to do until she could get her confidence and motivation back. The video was shot carefully to keep Kotori's face out of it, and she'd somehow managed to change out of her school uniform into street clothes, too. It would be obvious to Minalinsky fans whose arms and legs they were seeing, though. At least, contrary to the warning, the video had been shot in a single take.

This time, when she saw the album with just one word on it, "MAKI," she was simply amused. Nico had had enough time to get accustomed to the bass, piano and drum machine. She realized that in all her idol aspirations, she'd never really learned to *feel* music washing through her, synchronizing with her, before. She resolved to learn an instrument. What kind didn't matter, so she guessed she'd try the guitar. It wouldn't help with dancing, nor acting, and only a little with singing, but the urge to feel music with her body was overwhelming. It actually took three singing takes, the first at half volume, but her version of "Blue Spirit Blues" sounded a lot better than the live karaoke version had. She glanced at the album cover image again. Was the sad Asakawa Maki going to be her role model? Time would tell, she decided.

It turned out the Shion Academy girls had donated two of their songs to the cause, as well. Neither were dance-type songs, but they were lively. "We couldn't debut these at idol try-outs, so it means a lot if Yazawa-san likes them enough to put on her first album," Takamagahara explained. She did, they were distinctive and well-written, just perfect as a break from the songs in the Minalinsky video. Of course, it took several takes to get them. At that point, they had arrived at the angry "Good Day" song by the American woman whose band was called Dresden Dolls. On an impulse, Nico asked if she could say something first, before the final take, and keep it in the recording. Everyone agreed she could. 

> **"There is someone that will hear this, and she will think it is about her. It is not you. It could never be you. Never, ever would I see you like this. I want you to know that."**

Kotori grasped what Nico was talking about immediately and gave her a thumbs up. She'd had a vague premonition about the song, even though she loved Nico's attack on it. Now, she realized what the problem was. Given Maki was already paranoid and angry about the whole Nico Project, if she saw that song, and assumed Nico was saying she'd get on with her life and survive just to spite Maki ... well. Yes. Necessary correction there, Nico-chan. Of course, the one most sensitive to Maki-chan's thoughts and feelings would always be Nico. That was the big problem. But this time, it helped.

After that, it was like rounding the last corner in a footrace. Her experience with Chrysanthemum made her accent (she unconsciously imitated Amy Winehouse's working class British intonation) almost perfect on "Back to Black." By the time she arrived at their duet (Kotori hadn't sung any of her solo karaoke efforts, of course) Nico was more relaxed, more letting the music move her feelings and motion. The sound girl decided to film them, so first Kotori had to wear her Minalinsky outfit again. The look Nico gave her was perfect for the song. World-weary. Wistful. Sweet. Knowing. And rather loving. The Girlfriend Singer X rumors would be flying for weeks. Nico thought to ask what she'd be called. Kotori suggested they stick with "Singer X," and Nico had nothing better to come back with. As for what they'd call it, Nico said, I don't know, you picked everything. I think of it as the only songs I know how to sing besides the ones in µ's, and being very heavy on blues, but other than that. Kotori perked up and decided. "The Only Songs I Know Right Now" was a wonderful title. It was humble, but humorous.

" Ura Mado" by Maki was, again, her last song. She tensed up a little and actually looked out the small window of the studio. Kotori came over and rubbed her shoulders. "Relax, Nico-chan. Relax. But keep looking out the window, it suits Nico-chan." So Nico did. She did several takes, never taking her gaze from the window. Of course, it wasn't as heart-wrenching as her karaoke take, but this time, with suitable live music, that she simply sat and absorbed as it swirled around her, Nico gave a more mature, bluesy feel to the song. This time, she was able to hold back the tears, although a little sadness settled in her shoulders. Tsukushima surprised her by snapping a picture suddenly. It caught Nico with a sad, nearly blank expression reflected in the little window.

It fit Ura Mado, the key song on the album, so well, they pronounced it ideal for the album cover. Kotori copied it to her laptop, which had a lot of design software. She had already filled in the songs and their creators, and the musicians and their credits on the back part in her jewel case template, so she centered the image of Nico on the front cover, and added Singer X's name and the title "THE ONLY SONGS I KNOW RIGHT NOW" over it. For such quick work, it was amazingly perfect. As a bonus, she had the three Shion girls, Minalinsky, and Singer X add liner notes. She uploaded the audio and video and the cover art to a service they had contacted in advance. They would sell the album as a download, as singles, and as pressed CDs, and figure out all royalties owed, since none of the songs were "Singer X's" originals. Since the Shion girls had registered themselves as songwriters, those calculations would include them.

Unsurprisingly, Nico was exhausted, physically and emotionally. Tsukushima had, it turned out, brought plenty of beer, which they all drank. The big sister of one of the girls was called to come pick up the Shion trio, and after thanking them repeatedly and exchanging contact numbers, Kotori and Nico helped each other walk to the train station. A worry Nico had had came out: weren't they at the studio a long time? Kotori assured her she'd gotten a deal on extended time there through her Minalinsky contacts. That said, she also admitted it wasn't cheap. She, Honoka and Umi had all chipped in and paid in advance. Nico looked abashed. In her current situation, she really wouldn't be able to pay them back for ages. Kotori assured her it was a gift, and if she wanted, she could think of it as an early birthday or Christmas present. Nico had no choice but to accept it, and be grateful.

By the time they got back to the Minami's, Nico was quite tired, but, just as on their first night, Kotori made espresso and they had the same snacks she'd brought out that first time. And of course, she also brought out heated plum wine for the two of them, and she made Nico drink it with locked arms with her. Idol training had been good to both of them, so they managed it without spilling.

It turned out to be another night of tear-filled lovemaking; not only did Nico feel the "Maki blues" (meaning, in this case, Maki-chan, not the singer Nico had been covering that night), but also her imminent parting from Kotori. They would have only one more night together. Nico couldn't believe how attached she'd become in such a short time. It bothered her to think Maki-chan was right to say she was naturally clingy. But there wasn't anything awkward about sex for the two anymore. It was pleasant, warm and comfortable by now. They communicated with little noises instead of words, but that was completely adequate. Before she'd gotten in bed, Nico had memorized Kotori's naked body, head to foot. Amused, Kotori had told Nico to lie down so she could do the same. She explored Nico's body with her eyes, then her fingers. Then her lips and tongue. Being kissed all over like that definitely built up Nico's sex drive, and when Kotori finally crawled back in bed, breaking their usual pattern, Nico attacked her.


	11. NicoTori 10: Day Seven - Hail and Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time on Fushidarana Jo Nico:
> 
> It is established that Nico is a grateful koala. Also: Principal Minami gives Nico permission to divide her attention between school and starting to build her entertainment career. With a little help from the 2nd-year-trio, and from A-RISE and friends, Nico gets off to a good start.

Kotori woke Nico up on their last day together.

They had another French-style breakfast, and Umi joined them.They chatted pleasantly while they enjoyed their food. When they all had only coffee left - Kotori had them all get a second cup - Umi addressed Nico:

“Starting tomorrow, Nico-chan, you and I will be dating. That’s as weird for me as it is for you. Also, it won’t be as fun, but I promise you it will be good for you. Will you work with me? Because that’s what I have planned: work.”

Once again, the contrast with the “old” Nico was sharp. The new one just said, “I’ll do my best.”

Then Umi, also surprisingly, just nodded, and said, “But today is your day, Kotori. Have fun.” And with that, she downed her coffee and left.

Kotori actually held Nico’s hand in hers as they talked, after that. They indeed must have looked very couple-y. The old Nico would have been mortified. The new one wondered what they would make of the same girl, possibly, coming in with a new girlfriend tomorrow. And another one in a week. “Wow, I’ve changed,” was the thought. She could see humor where before all she noticed was her wounded vanity.

When they got to school, Nico was still in her fired-up mode, even though she was less in need of putting Maki out of her mind. She remembered being like this when she started at Otonokizaka. This project was restoring her to where she was before her, as she now saw it, breakdown and depression from the end of her first year until the start of her third year. Which was fine, as far as that goes: she didn’t want to be that person anymore. But she didn’t want to forget her, either.

“I’ve been putting up a front so long, I’ve forgotten who I am,” she decided.

They ate lunch while Honoka, Umi and Kotori helped Nico finalize memorizing all her Chrysanthemum lines, except for just a summary of the voiceovers, as they were already recorded and approved. Nico left Maki alone during practice, Rin partnered with her and Hanayo partnered with Nico. As was usual now, Maki dashed off. Usually, she went straight home, but she had some songs she'd agreed to work on with lyrics Umi gave her. She wasn't refusing to practice or help, but she seemed so unhappy, everyone in µ's felt bad. Nico just said, "Clearly, she wants me out of her life. Let her interact with whoever she wants. She's very busy and stressed right now."

Play practice went well, and given the fast pace, it amounted to a dress rehearsal. Nico finally performed live with all the other players. The girl playing Mary-Ann, and the one playing her eventual love interest, clicked with Nico very well. They said she was a natural actress and they'd love to have her in the club. Even the girls who were separated by the casting agreed it was a good idea, after all. The girl directing it said that as long as they didn't expect too much, they would have a hit play, by Otonokizaka standards. She said she'd emphasize that it was the Japanese premiere of the play, and that it had inspired a popular American old movie. Nico, herself, felt a certain freedom in being Chrysanthemum. After you'd lost everything, you had little to lose being brave. It was an interesting lesson to absorb, being bold and unconcerned with your status or reputation. All the µ's girls except Maki asked if they could watch the dress rehearsal, and were granted permission. They were impressed with its experimental nature, its age, and its themes, which seemed shockingly modern.

Kotori asked Nico what she wanted to do together their last night as "girlfriends." Nico wasn't used to the question, but when she pondered it, she decided she wanted to go to a nearby convenience store and get some food, then bring it back to Otonokizaka and work on costumes with Kotori. "After all, we chitchat a lot doing that, and yet we get good things done."

Kotori thought that was a great, and somewhat touching, idea.

She almost made Nico harm herself at one point in the ensuing conversation. "I think we got very used to each other in terms of love-making, surprisingly quickly, Nico." Nico flushed, cutely in Kotori's opinion. But she agreed. "Yes, and that surprises me. Some of the old feelings come back when I think of that, though. Like it's cheating, or dishonoring our memories."

Kotori put her work down, so she wouldn't risk injury.

"Don't you dare feel bad about that, Nico-chan! Don't you *dare*. Yes. We're in synch now. I know you, and you know me. We have things between us that other people don't, now. Things that are just ours. That was the point, Nico-chan. That was the whole. Point. I understand you still have these guilt attacks, but they're just Nico indulging herself, and they're hurtful. Does Nico get me?"

Nico looked at her, a bewildered expression on her suddenly tear-streaked face, but eventually, she nodded timidly.

"If Nico understands that, then I can say I think it's good we set a limit, and as short as we did. I have a lot more Nico feelings to sort out next week than I ever imagined I would. If this was the price to pay to learn something like this, it was totally worth it. Nico-chan, I am going to talk with Honoka about all this next week. Does that make you angry?"

"Umm I thought part of the whole point was not discussing that stuff?"

"There are a lot of things that will be off limits, but my feelings won't be."

Nico was puzzled. Why would she need to do that, she asked. Kotori pointed out she'd be spending most of her time with Honoka next week, and who else was she going to use as a sounding board? Put that way, Nico had to nod. After all, they'd been sharing the things that mattered to them since early primary school. "Go ahead," she said, a little wearily. 

When they got to Nico's place, her mother ran interference with her little siblings. Although nothing special was planned, and there were a lot of tears, clutching each other, and whispers, it was nonetheless the best night of the seven. Somehow the fact that it was a partial farewell, to their relationship at least, made it both more meaningful and more, well, hot. Nico at one point raised an issue Kotori had to laugh at, although gently.

"When we wake up, is it over? Do I have to roll away from you or something?"

"Nico-chan we can do this however we wish, but my plan is to be as gentle as possible. I don't pretend you're all fine now. No, you will be handed over to Umi-chan, if you're still good with it. But I promised your mother something. We're going to have to get up even earlier, sorry. And when we get to the cafe, we will have you sit by yourself at a table with a notebook and pen. And I want you to think, really think, about whether you want to go forward. That's what I promised your mom, and Umi knows about it, too. No one will think less of you, or think you don't like Umi, if you change your mind. And that's even true if it came up with Honoka or whoever after that. We wouldn't let you "skip" someone, though we could discuss the "order" a little beforehand. But whenever you feel like it's time to end the project, you have the final say, Nico-chan. But that's only true if you are allowed time to think."

Kotori's final gesture was to say, "Sweet dreams, angel," as she kissed Nico good night.

Nico teared up. "Thank you, Kotori," she said. "Thank you so much. I won't ever forget this."

And then their last night was over, and they slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up in Book 2 of Fushidara na Jo Nico, "The Book of UmiNico":
>
>>   
**Seeing a sight she knew many girls at Otonokiza would kill for, Nico found herself unable to move. Umi laughed. "You're not making this any easier, are you, Nico-chan?" she asked teasingly as she led her back to her bed. As Nico sat down on it, she noticed it was much firmer than Kotori's. "Well," she heard Umi say. "I bet we could both handle getting under the covers and holding hands. Are you game?"**  



	12. NicoTori OMaki: A-RISE Mini-concert and Nico

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catching up with Nico, Tsubasa, Anju and Erena in the week leading up to "Chrysanthemum."

* * *

If she was being honest with herself, Kira Tsubasa wasn't sure she wasn't a little bit mad at Nico-nii right now. So it was extra-nice of her and the rest to be helping Nico like this.

And that probably went double for Kotori, of course. And maybe Honoka a bit. After all, she'd implied that the original idea was for Kotori to snatch up Nico for a while while she was on the rebound. But also present was a card-carrying member of what Otonokizaka called the "Idiot Trio." Discussing another idiot.

Honoka had "joked" that she and the other Mu's girls should date Nico too, so by the time they were done, she'd be all over Maki. And Kotori, the weirdo, had called that a good idea. And Umi had betrayed her reputation for being stern by immediately capitulating. And Nico, of all people, had been talked into it by Kotori. _Note to self: don't go up against Kotori when she's on a mission._

The problem was, Tsubasa couldn't get too mad. Unfortunately for her peace of mind, she understood everyone involved, and their reasons for going along. It was a weird, weird combination of romantic and cynical. First, Umi, Kotori and Honoka had to resolve _their_ feelings. Nico had to decide if she could love anyone but Maki (she didn't think so). Honoka and Tsubasa, who had both noticed a strong mutual attraction, had to decide if they could and would act on it. And Kotori, the devil-girl, had said something else that was driving a lot of this, and making all the girls involved feel insecure. No wonder the rumor mill coming out of Otonokizaka was that Nishikino Maki was quietly so furious that she wasn't even speaking to Kotori. Or coming to practices. She'd asked Honoka straight out and she'd said "welllll ... not quite ... but there is a little truth there. Oh, but Kotori-chan and Maki-chan are both very good girls, they're just butting heads right now, I guess is what you say."

Kotori had "observed" that very few high-school sweethearts stayed together, especially in Japan, where graduation was equated with "goodbye, forever!" And doubly so for girl-girl couples. Half of them went for boys after graduation. And she speculated some of that was that you only had one person in your life - nothing to compare them to. And no experience in weathering the storms that came with relationships. But if you had even one relationship before the person you wanted to explore settling down with, even if only for a few years ... and hey, Nico needs to learn she can go on without having Maki at her side, so ...

Tsubasa had a different set of concerns, of course. _Her_ idiot needed to learn to be discreet. Especially since A-RISE had talked her into considering staying an idol. Yukiho wanted to try it, too, so both girls would probably split their time between their duties to the family business and performing (if Yukiho ended up being any good at it; but she had the same genes and upbringing as Honoka, right?). But Honoka was a babe in the woods about anything idol related. Even Hanayo was lecturing her constantly about her behavior nowadays, perhaps moreso than even Umi did.

Tsubasa could, after all, have her pick of attractive, probably discreet girls. She had no idea what made Honoka special. In the best of all possible worlds, at least they'd understand each other, living similar lives. That probably was a big factor for Anju and Erena being happy together. Both of them had dated other people in the past, on the quiet, but Tsubasa had no idea how far they'd gone with them.

Tsubasa was the only virgin, and the third wheel. She had fixated on the first girl that made her feel fluffy inside, and that girl had entanglements and baggage enough to fill both stories of the Homura building.

Okay, to give Kotori her due, she was probably sincere. And her ideas were definitely weird, but they had a grain of truth in them. Usually the relationships that stuck around weren't first time ones. And probably, Tsubasa was the reason they didn't just take turns dating each other in the second-year trio until something settled out. But.

Tsubasa had the impression Honoka was going to be dating Nico after Umi, and taking it to the limit, too. How would Tsubasa feel about that? Unbalanced, for starters. But that line of thinking was drawing her thoughts into Kotori's dark orbit. And here was Nico. Everyone said it, but she was really looking beautiful nowadays. No dark thoughts, Tsubasa!

So, instead, Tsubasa turned on the charm, but also got down to business. Nico had just gotten out of practice for Chrysanthemum, so she was primed on the songs, but not very familiar with the dancing part of "Is This Love?" As she dashed in to the practice area, Anju and Erena teased Nico that she was eager to get home to Kotori "waiting for you in bed, ne?" and Nico blushed so much it made Tsubasa laugh.

"Nico! You know, we will dash through "Sinner Me" - you basically have it, just relax and enjoy it. It was weird for us making a four-girl pattern, but I think we're comfortable. So this practice is basically "Is This Love?" And with that, Tsubasa took Nico's hand and led her confidently to her starting spot. Nico had changed back into her practice clothes, and they jumped right in to "Sinner Me," and whipped through it as predicted. And it seemed to be as fun for Nico as promised.

Weirdly, Anju and Erena teased Nico about Kotori again, causing her to blush profusely. Anju whispered in Tsubasa's ear: "Kotori got cosplay lingerie for both of them and it looks like the school uniforms. She said something about making Nico call her 'sempai.' They're getting kind of kinky, if you ask me. She just told Nico she had a surprise for her."

"Is This Love" went more smoothly than it could have. Everyone involved was experienced, motivated, and with no time for nonsense. Tsubasa didn't ask about it, but she suddenly remembered someone - probably Nishikino Maki - had told her Nico wanted to go to UTX but wouldn't have been able to afford all the fees, even if she got a scholarship to go there. Apparently, when she heard Otonokizaka was closing soon, Maki had applied to transfer to UTX, and Nico had convinced her to abandon the transfer. It was the second time, in fact: Nico had first met Maki when the girl was just out of middle school, and both were standing in front of UTX. Somehow, Nico had talked her into going to Otonokizaka instead - apparently so she'd have her own composer. That explained part of Nico's initial hostility to Honoka - Nico did all the work of persuading Maki and Honoka reaped the benefits, in her eyes.

But, anyway: If Nico had gone to UTX, would A-RISE be a quartet? They were so tight a unit, it was impossible to imagine, but she guessed it was likely. If only to shut Nico up. If they had excluded her, they'd never hear the end of it.

It took only a couple of takes before "Is This Love?" was down pat for Nico - apparently she was really a quick study at learning songs, and the fact that they built the dance part off of Private Wars and Nico was an A-RISE super fan who'd already memorized it, worked out as planned. So both songs wouldn't seem like identical dances, they'd altered about half of it, but with steps and moves that would be familiar to an A-RISE fan, and Nico had kept up. No wonder Mu's was such strong competition for A-RISE already. They had an impressive standard of excellence if Nico - who claimed to be average for Mu's in terms of dancing - was any indication. 

Nico thanked them profusely, but was obviously in a hurry to rush off -- "Home to your sweetie?" as Erena sweetly inquired. Then they burst into laughter as Nico turned red again. Nonetheless, she just responded to Anju's "Take care of your body, Nico-chan!" with a "Nico-nico-nii!" so they knew Nico was somewhat back to herself.

* * *

"I've been putting up a front for so long, I've forgotten who I am." That was Nico's response when Tsubasa asked how she was. Long silence.

Nico seemed to realize, finally, that that was a little weird. So she added something almost as weird: "I mean, I don't care. I'm just here to dance and have fun. It took me ages to figure this out, but the world is going to do whatever it wants with me, so while I wait ..." she suddenly became aware she was babbling a little. Meanwhile, _'Maybe we should call ourselves the Existential Dancers,'_ Tsubasa mused to herself.

As it turned out, Maki had apparently been openly cold and hostile to Nico that day. It was also Nico and Kotori's last day together - they'd spent the afternoon making costumes for Mu's, but Kotori had apparently snapped at Nico for feeling guilty about Maki. But as Tsubasa watched her, she shook her head, and suddenly she was all business.

"Thank you for this, Tsubasa," she said, suddenly. "Thank all of you."

Tsubasa assured her it was their pleasure, and it felt like closure after the little dialog where they listed what each Mu's member contributed and didn't come up with much for Nico.

"Oh. yeah. That was kind of tough," was all Nico said.

At any rate, her body language seemed to say, shall we?

People of all ages had gathered, including parents and children. The food stalls were doing a thriving business, which made their vendors cheerful. The mood was very light and vibrant. Several signs had advertised the mini-concert, and it had been on the Otonokizaka bulletin board, the bulletin board of a couple of nearby shops and restaurants. It was on Nico's site, Minalinsky's, A-RISE's. They'd even put it up on the board and the giant marquee at UTX, since it was an A-RISE event.

The sound in the little park was perfect, and it had a very nice stage, well-maintained and clean so you could dance confidently on it. A-RISE didn't do a lot of co-dancing, so it was novel for them, and it was unprecedented for Nico. Their sheer joy in dancing communicated itself to the crowd. When it ended, Nico was in tears, but she was smiling widely as well.

The crowd loved it, and would probably remember Chrysanthemum well, since they'd mentioned it extensively introducing the performance, and again after it was over. Because it was a family crowd, they'd had to talk euphemistically about the play, but for some of the audience, that just made it more interesting. The children probably didn't understand songs in English, fortunately, in the case of "Sinner Me."

It had clouded up a little, but right on cue, while a photographer was taking a picture of the four, a ray of light burst through the scattered clouds and lit them up. The photographer had a hand-printer, and when the clever thing produced a print for Nico, she decided it was an image she would frame and keep forever.

She hugged all the girls, thanked them again, did a full "Nico-nico-nii!" to the crowd - and hurried home to her sweetie.


End file.
